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Parent Emeritus
When the ‘good’ one falls off the rails
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 743905" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Elsi, many years went by before you came into the lives of these kids. You were not there to nurture them as infants and trust me those early years of no nurturing change the brain forever. The first three years are critical for a childs development...they need consistent love from theeir caregiver and bio. mom didnt give it. That causes dsmage, plus the drugs she took while pregnant. That was all bad but had nothing to do with you!!</p><p></p><p> You are a success as a mother, not a failure. These kids would be doing much worse if you had never been there, but you cant make up for the years that you didnt know them. This is why E, who did not have drugs in utero and had you from the first, is doing so well. Its too bad they were not all yours from infancy but they were not. Bio. mom harmed them and still does, from wherever she is.</p><p></p><p>Have some faith that maybe N will not like his relapse and will go back for help. Talk to him. He may listen to you. He has before.</p><p></p><p>S may have fetal alcohol so you said. There is no known way to treat that. At least she knows you love her. That matters! She may yet come to you.</p><p></p><p>C has many challenges that S has from her bio mom but there is hope for him. He has a heart. He does speak of change. That can take time. One day he may ask for rehab.</p><p></p><p>I have said it before. You are an angel. These kids were damaged before you met them, in utero, but your love gives them hope and makes a difference. They know you are real Mom. It matters that they have you. You have done GREAT!</p><p></p><p>Love and.light!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 743905, member: 1550"] Elsi, many years went by before you came into the lives of these kids. You were not there to nurture them as infants and trust me those early years of no nurturing change the brain forever. The first three years are critical for a childs development...they need consistent love from theeir caregiver and bio. mom didnt give it. That causes dsmage, plus the drugs she took while pregnant. That was all bad but had nothing to do with you!! You are a success as a mother, not a failure. These kids would be doing much worse if you had never been there, but you cant make up for the years that you didnt know them. This is why E, who did not have drugs in utero and had you from the first, is doing so well. Its too bad they were not all yours from infancy but they were not. Bio. mom harmed them and still does, from wherever she is. Have some faith that maybe N will not like his relapse and will go back for help. Talk to him. He may listen to you. He has before. S may have fetal alcohol so you said. There is no known way to treat that. At least she knows you love her. That matters! She may yet come to you. C has many challenges that S has from her bio mom but there is hope for him. He has a heart. He does speak of change. That can take time. One day he may ask for rehab. I have said it before. You are an angel. These kids were damaged before you met them, in utero, but your love gives them hope and makes a difference. They know you are real Mom. It matters that they have you. You have done GREAT! Love and.light! [/QUOTE]
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When the ‘good’ one falls off the rails
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