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When the Easy Child Falls
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<blockquote data-quote="Mirabelle" data-source="post: 763268" data-attributes="member: 28712"><p>Thank you friends for responding. I took something insightful from each response.</p><p></p><p>BrokenInside : Yes, I totally agree that within a year it will be all about the baby. I am mad, among other things, at my stepdaughter but she doesn't know that. So there is no bad blood or relationship to repair, thank goodness. I will have to alter my attitude to deal with baby daddy, which is within my power, it will just take time. A high pressure social situation two weeks after having a baby bomb dropped on us is not enough time!</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Busy.......this is what I am thinking. Zero hostility and nothing but kindness. Over the last few days I have settled on the idea of not going and it has brought me some peace. So I think this is exactly what I will do.</p><p></p><p>KTMom : You have the ignoring part down pat. My stepdaughter's family on her mother's side is high drama....no one seems to be happy unless there is a crisis happening, and if there isn't one, they will work to create one to give themselves something to be dramatic about....I kid you not. My daughter did not used to be this way, but she moved away figuratively from our side of the family (too boring and normal) and became subsumed. A smart, measured girl who used to raise her eyebrows at her mother's antics became a histrionic basket case, and seemingly settled into that mode, not happy but comfortable with it. </p><p></p><p>We ARE ignored.......there are calls or texts a few times a week, even before baby, saying she would love to catch up, or she will meet us here or there, and she rarely, if ever, shows up. She didn't even find 15-20 mins to visit with us to exchange Christmas presents last year. Her presents sat until April, at which point we repackaged them and gave them to others as birthday gifts. I know she loves us but it has gotten to the point where it feels fake - the words are used - miss you, love you, can't wait to see you etc. but there is nothing behind it. Her dad is planning to attend for her sake, and I think she would be disappointed if he didn't, but my lack of presence will cause barely a ripple. The spare doesn't have to be there, as they say!!</p><p></p><p>I'll keep you informed as the saga continues. Thank you so much; this forum has been a lifesaver for me this past year. Love and hugs xx</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mirabelle, post: 763268, member: 28712"] Thank you friends for responding. I took something insightful from each response. BrokenInside : Yes, I totally agree that within a year it will be all about the baby. I am mad, among other things, at my stepdaughter but she doesn't know that. So there is no bad blood or relationship to repair, thank goodness. I will have to alter my attitude to deal with baby daddy, which is within my power, it will just take time. A high pressure social situation two weeks after having a baby bomb dropped on us is not enough time! Busy.......this is what I am thinking. Zero hostility and nothing but kindness. Over the last few days I have settled on the idea of not going and it has brought me some peace. So I think this is exactly what I will do. KTMom : You have the ignoring part down pat. My stepdaughter's family on her mother's side is high drama....no one seems to be happy unless there is a crisis happening, and if there isn't one, they will work to create one to give themselves something to be dramatic about....I kid you not. My daughter did not used to be this way, but she moved away figuratively from our side of the family (too boring and normal) and became subsumed. A smart, measured girl who used to raise her eyebrows at her mother's antics became a histrionic basket case, and seemingly settled into that mode, not happy but comfortable with it. We ARE ignored.......there are calls or texts a few times a week, even before baby, saying she would love to catch up, or she will meet us here or there, and she rarely, if ever, shows up. She didn't even find 15-20 mins to visit with us to exchange Christmas presents last year. Her presents sat until April, at which point we repackaged them and gave them to others as birthday gifts. I know she loves us but it has gotten to the point where it feels fake - the words are used - miss you, love you, can't wait to see you etc. but there is nothing behind it. Her dad is planning to attend for her sake, and I think she would be disappointed if he didn't, but my lack of presence will cause barely a ripple. The spare doesn't have to be there, as they say!! I'll keep you informed as the saga continues. Thank you so much; this forum has been a lifesaver for me this past year. Love and hugs xx [/QUOTE]
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