What do you do? how do you deal with it? practically? emotionally? I am finally coming to see that many of my youngest's cognitive, emotional and behvarioal issues are tied to fetal alcohol. the more I read the the more I am coming to realize unlike for my oldest son whose mental illness is being more or less successfully treated, the organic brain demage isn't going to go away,either by medications or anything else. Inpart I guess we have been dealing with mostly mental health type professionals who have more the orientation of being able to "fix" things through medication and/or theraphy and who perhaps don't have the expertise in more of the fetal alchohol issues. It is so hard because as you all know, evrything overlaps, there are huge co morbidities and little clarity in the childhoodl mental health field. It has really hit me in the last few days that he is at high risk for all sorts of bad behaviors, probably won't be able to function without close parental oversight well into his twenties if not beyond, am not sure he will graduate high school much less go to community college etc. He is of normal intelligence, but has much of the rest of the fetal alchohol baggage including a lot of cognitive issues. I am very sad for him, sad for our family because his behavior makes "normal family life" difficult, sad for me cause I was kind of counting on getting my life back at some point, among other things and having my children grow up to be a little less difficult child some day ( I can always hope (lol), and do especially for my oldest). but my youngest, it seems like many of hte issues we are seeing now aren't something he is going to grow out of, therapy is going to dramatically change from all that I read. As they want more independence the discrepancy between what they they think they are ready for and what they can really handle must get wider and wider and the battles get bigger and the stakes larger. For those of you with very 'challenged" children who don't seem to have much hope of whatever might pass for a normal, independent, productive life, does it ever get you down, espeically when they superficially pass for "normal"? how do you cope? how do you plan for the future when they might not be self-supporting emotionally together enough individuals--yet they no doubt think they are and am sure will want to live their own life. The future looks pretty bleak to me right now, and we haven't even gotten to the hard teen age stuff yet. I know I will keep looking for professional help--I am going to be looking for more specialized help if I can find it, but I feel like I am in way over my head, depressed about the way I see it defining the rest of my life, very sad for my son. Some of you I know are dealing with similar issues it would seem, I hope to learn from you.