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Failure to Thrive
When they want to do their own thing...
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<blockquote data-quote="AnnieO" data-source="post: 684044" data-attributes="member: 6705"><p>Well, interestingly enough, we did NOT ask his help when she was younger; in fact we told him from the get go that she wasn't his responsibility at all! </p><p></p><p> That's the thing, though. Bill and I have tried very hard to include him, with and without Rose present. We've had family or friends babysit her so we can take him out to do something such as bowling, a movie, or pizza. We've had him no-show on us multiple times... In fact, the last time he actually showed interest in an activity was last FEBRUARY (14 months ago) when we took everyone (my parents and Belle and Rose too) to a train thing. We bought tickets to the new Star Wars, for a guy outing with him and Bill... He refused to go. We ask him out to dinner, with and without Rose - nope. I have asked what he would like to do for his birthday... He said "nothing". Same answer for what he wanted for Christmas. He was barely present FOR Thanksgiving and Christmas, skipped out on Easter, skipped out on our huge 10th-anniversary/4th of July cookout last summer (where he'd been asked to invite friends, and didn't). Honestly, Belle is more of a participant in our day-to-day, and she's a couple hundred miles away. He DID go with us to visit her, and stayed with her and Wyatt. I would love to think it is us not spending time with him, but when we try and are rebuffed, there's not much we can do.</p><p></p><p>We have no choice on those techniques, by the way... NOTHING ELSE has helped, at all, and since we are fully aware that he is CAPABLE (seen him do it), then there is NO REASON we should support him sitting on his rear doing nothing after he is 18.</p><p></p><p>Speaking of rooms - I really don't care that much, but the stench creeps out into the hallway, so it's a hygiene thing. I wouldn't care about that, even, but 1) Rose's bedroom door is next to his, 2) the main bathroom is on the other side, and 3) it keeps going down the hall. Stinky? OK. Physically ill? Not so okay.</p><p></p><p>Really, we're at a loss, so this is a last-ditch effort. I don't know what else to try.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AnnieO, post: 684044, member: 6705"] Well, interestingly enough, we did NOT ask his help when she was younger; in fact we told him from the get go that she wasn't his responsibility at all! That's the thing, though. Bill and I have tried very hard to include him, with and without Rose present. We've had family or friends babysit her so we can take him out to do something such as bowling, a movie, or pizza. We've had him no-show on us multiple times... In fact, the last time he actually showed interest in an activity was last FEBRUARY (14 months ago) when we took everyone (my parents and Belle and Rose too) to a train thing. We bought tickets to the new Star Wars, for a guy outing with him and Bill... He refused to go. We ask him out to dinner, with and without Rose - nope. I have asked what he would like to do for his birthday... He said "nothing". Same answer for what he wanted for Christmas. He was barely present FOR Thanksgiving and Christmas, skipped out on Easter, skipped out on our huge 10th-anniversary/4th of July cookout last summer (where he'd been asked to invite friends, and didn't). Honestly, Belle is more of a participant in our day-to-day, and she's a couple hundred miles away. He DID go with us to visit her, and stayed with her and Wyatt. I would love to think it is us not spending time with him, but when we try and are rebuffed, there's not much we can do. We have no choice on those techniques, by the way... NOTHING ELSE has helped, at all, and since we are fully aware that he is CAPABLE (seen him do it), then there is NO REASON we should support him sitting on his rear doing nothing after he is 18. Speaking of rooms - I really don't care that much, but the stench creeps out into the hallway, so it's a hygiene thing. I wouldn't care about that, even, but 1) Rose's bedroom door is next to his, 2) the main bathroom is on the other side, and 3) it keeps going down the hall. Stinky? OK. Physically ill? Not so okay. Really, we're at a loss, so this is a last-ditch effort. I don't know what else to try. [/QUOTE]
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