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When to cut the ties
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 652154" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p><a href="http://izettl.hubpages.com/hub/Strained-Family-Relationships-When-You-Should-Cut-The-Ties-and-Say-Goodbye" target="_blank">http://izettl.hubpages.com/hub/Strained-Family-Relationships-When-You-Should-Cut-The-Ties-and-Say-Goodbye</a></p><p></p><p>This article has some great stuff. While I have been detached from my Difficult Child for some time; I have minimal contact, I still find it helpful to read articles like this. It helps to confirm I have made the right choice and to also always be on guard when dealing with my Difficult Child as there are times when he can be so nice but that can mask true behavior.</p><p></p><p>Here's a little snippet from the article:</p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"><strong>It's OK to Say Goodbye When:</strong></span></p><ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">The relationship is physically or mentally abusive. Don't downplay the effects of mental abuse, especially long-term. It may take counseling to realize you've been abused.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">It causes enough stress that it effects important aspects/areas of your life, like work or home life.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">You find yourself spending a lot of time thinking about the sour relationship and losing sleep over it. Don't underestimate how lack of sleep and stress effect your health.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">The relationship is one-sided when there is no valid reason why there can't be effort from the other person.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">The relationship is only about borrowing money.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">The family member is taking you down with them or doing favors or bailing them out of trouble. Don't get involved in risky business and legal trouble, even if they are family.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">The person is using gossip, manipulation, etc to control you and/or other family members against you.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">The only contact with them is negative. They only call to bring you down and put you down too.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">There are negative consequences every time this family member doesn't get what they want from you.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">They play childish games; silent treatment, blame games- there is no talking to them, their way or no way.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Most people know intuitively when it's time to cut ties.</li> </ul></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 652154, member: 18516"] [URL]http://izettl.hubpages.com/hub/Strained-Family-Relationships-When-You-Should-Cut-The-Ties-and-Say-Goodbye[/URL] This article has some great stuff. While I have been detached from my Difficult Child for some time; I have minimal contact, I still find it helpful to read articles like this. It helps to confirm I have made the right choice and to also always be on guard when dealing with my Difficult Child as there are times when he can be so nice but that can mask true behavior. Here's a little snippet from the article: [SIZE=5][B]It's OK to Say Goodbye When:[/B][/SIZE] [LIST] [*]The relationship is physically or mentally abusive. Don't downplay the effects of mental abuse, especially long-term. It may take counseling to realize you've been abused. [*]It causes enough stress that it effects important aspects/areas of your life, like work or home life. [*]You find yourself spending a lot of time thinking about the sour relationship and losing sleep over it. Don't underestimate how lack of sleep and stress effect your health. [*]The relationship is one-sided when there is no valid reason why there can't be effort from the other person. [*]The relationship is only about borrowing money. [*]The family member is taking you down with them or doing favors or bailing them out of trouble. Don't get involved in risky business and legal trouble, even if they are family. [*]The person is using gossip, manipulation, etc to control you and/or other family members against you. [*]The only contact with them is negative. They only call to bring you down and put you down too. [*]There are negative consequences every time this family member doesn't get what they want from you. [*]They play childish games; silent treatment, blame games- there is no talking to them, their way or no way. [*]Most people know intuitively when it's time to cut ties. [/LIST] [/QUOTE]
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