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When to cut the ties
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<blockquote data-quote="Lioness" data-source="post: 652280" data-attributes="member: 18827"><p>I have strived all my life to create a family unit that I yearned for as a child. I feel like I have been asleep and ignorant for so long. I have never heard of Family of origin, till now. It seems inevitable that it will all end sadly. Yet I have good memories, such as last summer my husband and I hired a beautiful villa in Greece and invited all five of our kids to come and stay for a week. They paid for their own flights. We had a wonderful week with no flash points laughing, joking and getting closer. Even the Borderline (BPD) eldest daughter enjoyed herself and smiled the whole time. I thought this would be a new start. The birth of my Grand daughter brought the family together and being the dreamer that I am I thought this would last. I know that my daughter is suffering with Borderline (BPD) now. You and books have educated me on this. There are moments when she is lovely to be around. If I crave this surely others in the family do too? Do you think it would work to sit everyone down and talk about the elephant in the room? Or possibly approach my daughter and ask her if she would like to go to family mediation with me? I am not the problem I know this, but I do want to fix this or get to a better place. It all depends on her mood, I know this. I also know that without appropriate help, she may never be ok and I will always be in the "bad" pile. I have not been contacting her, so nearly every morning she texts or calls me with trivial questions anything to engage me. I just give her minimal replies so as not to antagonise her. She probably wants something, so am expecting a call soon asking to help her with the baby. Which of course I will do. I don't want the next generation in my family i.e. My Grand daughter to have to suffer a fractured family, I want us to be united. I am not ready to give up yet. I know that you have all been down this road and are wiser than me, but I have learned to detach and this has assisted me greatly. I no longer make those phone calls that she ignores, only to hear her pick up the phone to her sister in the other room instead. She is contacting me now. Sometimes, if she texts I don't reply straight away, pathetic I know but at least I have some control now. I went to the Doctor today as I have a terrible case of conjunctivitis, chest infection and ear infection. The Doctor said I was run down and was I stressed? Duh?! I didn't even go there to be honest! So I look like the monster my daughter paints me to be today!! Ha, ha, ha x</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lioness, post: 652280, member: 18827"] I have strived all my life to create a family unit that I yearned for as a child. I feel like I have been asleep and ignorant for so long. I have never heard of Family of origin, till now. It seems inevitable that it will all end sadly. Yet I have good memories, such as last summer my husband and I hired a beautiful villa in Greece and invited all five of our kids to come and stay for a week. They paid for their own flights. We had a wonderful week with no flash points laughing, joking and getting closer. Even the Borderline (BPD) eldest daughter enjoyed herself and smiled the whole time. I thought this would be a new start. The birth of my Grand daughter brought the family together and being the dreamer that I am I thought this would last. I know that my daughter is suffering with Borderline (BPD) now. You and books have educated me on this. There are moments when she is lovely to be around. If I crave this surely others in the family do too? Do you think it would work to sit everyone down and talk about the elephant in the room? Or possibly approach my daughter and ask her if she would like to go to family mediation with me? I am not the problem I know this, but I do want to fix this or get to a better place. It all depends on her mood, I know this. I also know that without appropriate help, she may never be ok and I will always be in the "bad" pile. I have not been contacting her, so nearly every morning she texts or calls me with trivial questions anything to engage me. I just give her minimal replies so as not to antagonise her. She probably wants something, so am expecting a call soon asking to help her with the baby. Which of course I will do. I don't want the next generation in my family i.e. My Grand daughter to have to suffer a fractured family, I want us to be united. I am not ready to give up yet. I know that you have all been down this road and are wiser than me, but I have learned to detach and this has assisted me greatly. I no longer make those phone calls that she ignores, only to hear her pick up the phone to her sister in the other room instead. She is contacting me now. Sometimes, if she texts I don't reply straight away, pathetic I know but at least I have some control now. I went to the Doctor today as I have a terrible case of conjunctivitis, chest infection and ear infection. The Doctor said I was run down and was I stressed? Duh?! I didn't even go there to be honest! So I look like the monster my daughter paints me to be today!! Ha, ha, ha x [/QUOTE]
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