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When wallowing in depression seems normal....
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<blockquote data-quote="ScentofCedar" data-source="post: 25117" data-attributes="member: 3353"><p>You know, it has been occurring to me over the past few days, that I have been depressed, not myself at all, for all the long years since this began.</p><p></p><p>Now, here is the interesting thing.</p><p></p><p>The pain was actually strengthening, in a way.</p><p></p><p>It became who I was. </p><p></p><p>I was someone who functioned despite the pain.</p><p></p><p>The chaos came to be the thing that provided focus in my life.</p><p></p><p>Weird, huh?</p><p></p><p>When we bounce from one chaotic event to the next over a period of years, we live our own lives from the sidelines.</p><p></p><p>I feel like I am waking up.</p><p></p><p>But you know?</p><p></p><p>There doesn't seem to be much going on....</p><p></p><p>That has to be because I have lived so much of my life on the edge of immediate disaster.</p><p></p><p>Very strange, to be coming out the other side.</p><p></p><p>Stranger still to realize how much of my life has been devoted, desperately devoted, to trying to get my kids to stand up.</p><p></p><p>In a way?</p><p></p><p>I feel like I am on an adventure to myself.</p><p></p><p>But what if I don't like me, once I get there?!?</p><p> :rofl:</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p><p></p><p> :smile:</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ScentofCedar, post: 25117, member: 3353"] You know, it has been occurring to me over the past few days, that I have been depressed, not myself at all, for all the long years since this began. Now, here is the interesting thing. The pain was actually strengthening, in a way. It became who I was. I was someone who functioned despite the pain. The chaos came to be the thing that provided focus in my life. Weird, huh? When we bounce from one chaotic event to the next over a period of years, we live our own lives from the sidelines. I feel like I am waking up. But you know? There doesn't seem to be much going on.... That has to be because I have lived so much of my life on the edge of immediate disaster. Very strange, to be coming out the other side. Stranger still to realize how much of my life has been devoted, desperately devoted, to trying to get my kids to stand up. In a way? I feel like I am on an adventure to myself. But what if I don't like me, once I get there?!? [img]:rofl:[/img] Barbara [img]:smile:[/img] [/QUOTE]
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When wallowing in depression seems normal....
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