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When we're gone what happens to our ...
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<blockquote data-quote="Smithmom" data-source="post: 741105" data-attributes="member: 23371"><p>Disabled kids who can't care for themselves. There's a thread about our parents who need care. But some of us are caregivers for our adult children. Tiredout said that she has concerns. I have an adult son who will be left behind needing care. I've been pondering options. A Mom in my area started a support group about housing options for our adult children. So I've learned a lot about options around the country. </p><p></p><p>Obviously this depends on the child's needs and the group represents a wide range of needs. Our town has about 3 dozen group homes of all kinds. This doesn't mean there's always a space open to fit the child when needed. In addition my town has at least another dozen options ranging from nursing homes to supported independent living to financially subsidized true independent living. Personally I'm hoping to set up something totally different customized to my son. </p><p></p><p>Tiredout... It would be great if all our kids had sibs to take them in and care for them. 100 years ago that would have been the only option. Now families are smaller and that option often doesn't exist as it won't for my son. But I've noticed something else the last few years which took me by surprise. Many of my son's classmates at 18 were moved to group homes by their parents. Heaven knows I don't know the whole situations and don't make judgements. But it has surprised me in many cases. In fact, one situation I know quite well shocked me this week with this decision. Haven't even told my son that his friend has been moved to another state. </p><p></p><p>But as with our parents and care facilities, it can be much better for the child to be with peers than at home. There are no right or perfect answers. But for our peace of mind investigating the options is key. And sometimes making the move before we're gone makes sense. </p><p></p><p>Comfort comes from seeing that the placement works. Also that a sib will be named as guardian and will check regularly to be sure that everything is going well. Things, funding, staff, etc always change and a caring guardian is necessary. Whether this person also handles the money is a question. In most cases I've seen they do not. The facility collects from the govt and provides a small allowance to the child. If there is a trust for the child that is a different situation. </p><p></p><p>I hope I can offer some ideas to anyone facing this situation.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Smithmom, post: 741105, member: 23371"] Disabled kids who can't care for themselves. There's a thread about our parents who need care. But some of us are caregivers for our adult children. Tiredout said that she has concerns. I have an adult son who will be left behind needing care. I've been pondering options. A Mom in my area started a support group about housing options for our adult children. So I've learned a lot about options around the country. Obviously this depends on the child's needs and the group represents a wide range of needs. Our town has about 3 dozen group homes of all kinds. This doesn't mean there's always a space open to fit the child when needed. In addition my town has at least another dozen options ranging from nursing homes to supported independent living to financially subsidized true independent living. Personally I'm hoping to set up something totally different customized to my son. Tiredout... It would be great if all our kids had sibs to take them in and care for them. 100 years ago that would have been the only option. Now families are smaller and that option often doesn't exist as it won't for my son. But I've noticed something else the last few years which took me by surprise. Many of my son's classmates at 18 were moved to group homes by their parents. Heaven knows I don't know the whole situations and don't make judgements. But it has surprised me in many cases. In fact, one situation I know quite well shocked me this week with this decision. Haven't even told my son that his friend has been moved to another state. But as with our parents and care facilities, it can be much better for the child to be with peers than at home. There are no right or perfect answers. But for our peace of mind investigating the options is key. And sometimes making the move before we're gone makes sense. Comfort comes from seeing that the placement works. Also that a sib will be named as guardian and will check regularly to be sure that everything is going well. Things, funding, staff, etc always change and a caring guardian is necessary. Whether this person also handles the money is a question. In most cases I've seen they do not. The facility collects from the govt and provides a small allowance to the child. If there is a trust for the child that is a different situation. I hope I can offer some ideas to anyone facing this situation. [/QUOTE]
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