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When you are really, really done with your child ...
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 729417" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi. I adopted a child who was also unattached. Six when we got him About 28 when he married and ceased to see us. Looking back, as much as we loved him he was never attached nor saw us as family. Proof is that he asked his sister, also adopted but not biologically related, to marry him and he meant it. Daughter who has normal attachment, freaked out. The son never stole from us but he did toss us to the curb. We have four other kids with normal attachment or it would have been worse. They were and are my salvation and our family is strong and close without him. It has been well over a decade.</p><p></p><p>I went to therapy for just this issue and after two years of intensive help with a great psychologist who totally understood attachment t disorder, I felt back to normal and decided to focus on the good in my life. But in my opinion therapy is important when crazy stuff happens.</p><p></p><p>You are not a failure. You gave your daughter a chance...everything. It was her choice to become a felon and perp on you and become this person who is not on a good path. You and I both know that attachment disorder is serious and mimics antisocial personality disorder. My daughter, the I'll fated one who our son proposed to, knew him best. She called him a robot with no emotions. When he proposed she said in shock, "You are my BROTHER! That is SICK!" She did t tell us until a few years after he cut us out.</p><p></p><p> I never saw him the way my daughter did. I was raising many kids at once and this child was very independent and I didn't really know him as well as I knew my other kids. He put on a good act. Attachment disordered people put on good acts. He was closest to this daughter he must have fallen for and she knew his strangeness that we did not see. But she didn't want to upset us by telling us...not until he took off. </p><p></p><p>You are wise to keep Daughter out of your life. Sounds like her early experiences damaged her for life. It happened before you ever met her. None of this is on you. You can recover and have a good life with your husband and stepkids. Your steps did not have the traumatic first three years your daughter had. They do not have attachment disorder. Perhaps you can learn to trust them. in my opinion you shouldn't let one even horrific experience ruin your life forever. Please....seek professional help.</p><p></p><p>Love and light. We are always here to listen.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 729417, member: 1550"] Hi. I adopted a child who was also unattached. Six when we got him About 28 when he married and ceased to see us. Looking back, as much as we loved him he was never attached nor saw us as family. Proof is that he asked his sister, also adopted but not biologically related, to marry him and he meant it. Daughter who has normal attachment, freaked out. The son never stole from us but he did toss us to the curb. We have four other kids with normal attachment or it would have been worse. They were and are my salvation and our family is strong and close without him. It has been well over a decade. I went to therapy for just this issue and after two years of intensive help with a great psychologist who totally understood attachment t disorder, I felt back to normal and decided to focus on the good in my life. But in my opinion therapy is important when crazy stuff happens. You are not a failure. You gave your daughter a chance...everything. It was her choice to become a felon and perp on you and become this person who is not on a good path. You and I both know that attachment disorder is serious and mimics antisocial personality disorder. My daughter, the I'll fated one who our son proposed to, knew him best. She called him a robot with no emotions. When he proposed she said in shock, "You are my BROTHER! That is SICK!" She did t tell us until a few years after he cut us out. I never saw him the way my daughter did. I was raising many kids at once and this child was very independent and I didn't really know him as well as I knew my other kids. He put on a good act. Attachment disordered people put on good acts. He was closest to this daughter he must have fallen for and she knew his strangeness that we did not see. But she didn't want to upset us by telling us...not until he took off. You are wise to keep Daughter out of your life. Sounds like her early experiences damaged her for life. It happened before you ever met her. None of this is on you. You can recover and have a good life with your husband and stepkids. Your steps did not have the traumatic first three years your daughter had. They do not have attachment disorder. Perhaps you can learn to trust them. in my opinion you shouldn't let one even horrific experience ruin your life forever. Please....seek professional help. Love and light. We are always here to listen. [/QUOTE]
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