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Family of Origin
When you take the place of the real abuser in your abusers life
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 666666" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I think so.</p><p>Yes, I think so.</p><p>Yes. </p><p>Yes.</p><p>I know.</p><p>Not for me. I have a great deal of fear and mistrust of my sister, that I was not conscious of having for my mother. My mother was direct and cruel when she wanted to be. Not passive aggressive. You could get out of her way and be safe.</p><p></p><p>When my mother was OK, she was warm, interesting and fun to be around.</p><p></p><p>My sister was subtle, contemptuous and typically indirectly cruel. There was never a safe time around her, for me.</p><p>Yes. If it is this Cedar, do you believe there would ever be hope? They would not be conscious of such a pervasive orientation towards life, toward us.</p><p>Cedar, I posted a new thread on narcissistic parents invested in their children's/grandchildren performance. </p><p>Yes. Until you are dying and then you pull out all the stops.</p><p>I do not think it is genetic. I think it is a pervasive personality disorder. These are hard to change, because those afflict do not suffer as much as the people in their orbit.</p><p>I wish I had asked my sister. I wish I had engaged in conversation with her. But I always feared that given an opportunity she would pull out her knife from her purse and show her fangs. To use it as an opportunity to kill me. I was afraid. I may still be.</p><p>I believe my sister knows, does not feel guilt, can cannot help it. It is her, like her hips.</p><p>Yes.</p><p>I know. Eye rolling again. I do not think for me it will ever be different.</p><p></p><p>Partly is that my sister is very controlling. She is not gracious. She is competitive. She is false. She does not play well. </p><p></p><p>I am exactly the opposite. Do you think she would ever cede anything? I do not think so. Maybe I am wrong.</p><p></p><p>Very sad post, Cedar.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 666666, member: 18958"] I think so. Yes, I think so. Yes. Yes. I know. Not for me. I have a great deal of fear and mistrust of my sister, that I was not conscious of having for my mother. My mother was direct and cruel when she wanted to be. Not passive aggressive. You could get out of her way and be safe. When my mother was OK, she was warm, interesting and fun to be around. My sister was subtle, contemptuous and typically indirectly cruel. There was never a safe time around her, for me. Yes. If it is this Cedar, do you believe there would ever be hope? They would not be conscious of such a pervasive orientation towards life, toward us. Cedar, I posted a new thread on narcissistic parents invested in their children's/grandchildren performance. Yes. Until you are dying and then you pull out all the stops. I do not think it is genetic. I think it is a pervasive personality disorder. These are hard to change, because those afflict do not suffer as much as the people in their orbit. I wish I had asked my sister. I wish I had engaged in conversation with her. But I always feared that given an opportunity she would pull out her knife from her purse and show her fangs. To use it as an opportunity to kill me. I was afraid. I may still be. I believe my sister knows, does not feel guilt, can cannot help it. It is her, like her hips. Yes. I know. Eye rolling again. I do not think for me it will ever be different. Partly is that my sister is very controlling. She is not gracious. She is competitive. She is false. She does not play well. I am exactly the opposite. Do you think she would ever cede anything? I do not think so. Maybe I am wrong. Very sad post, Cedar. COPA [/QUOTE]
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When you take the place of the real abuser in your abusers life
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