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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 712536" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Thanks both.</p><p></p><p>Susie, you summed it up. Yes, all my life. And i always thought it was me. Just me. I feel bad for my contribution to the estrangement. I am sorry for it. But it was impossible for me to be a good person to Pat in Pats eyes.</p><p></p><p>When my mom was alive she twisted anything good I did into something bad. Example: I adopted kids to get state money. Riduculous as adopting overseas you get nothing. A private adoption through a lawyer, like for Jumper, gets you nothing. For Sonic we wete promised $425 a month and Medicaid for him. We did not adopt him for that, but my mother needed to think that was why. Nothing I said could stop her from believing I got lots of money for adopting my beloved kids. She had to make everything into something bad. Everything.</p><p></p><p>Pat is not as harsh, which is why I kept having hope, but Pat is similar.</p><p></p><p>The last thing she wrote to me was in a text about my text to her before that. "I didnt read that, too long."</p><p></p><p>That was a bait.</p><p></p><p>I wrote, finally, "Thats okay. I am done." If id written more or tried to explain it would have not been read or mocked.</p><p></p><p>I give up. Pat is blocked from everyone on my Verizon plan...me, hub, two of my kids. She tried contacting Princess when I was in the hospital. I am visiting her now and warned her and she rolled her eyes saying she wasnt going to respond if that happened. I also blocked Pat from email. No contact. If she writes me snail mail I will throw it away without reading.</p><p></p><p>The last thing Pat did was a show of how deeply Pat needs to get in the last word. While visiting my sick Dad in rehab, she used mt fathers pay for phone to text me one last time. I blocked that number too because Dad uses his landline exclusively. The only reason he had his pay for was because there was no phone at the rehab. He is home now. I saw him yestetday. Thats another, sadder story.</p><p></p><p>Anyway that last text from my ill fathers pay for was enough to convince me I had done the right thing for both of us. I feel i have better mental health now than her, but I worked hard for it. My life is good. She makes some very self defeating choices and does not seem happy. About anything. I tried to help, but you can only help yourself...</p><p></p><p>I have another sibling who is a forgiving angel and I love him to pieces. He is the best person in my entire family of origin, including deceased, as few are left. I cant be close to him...he is close to Pat and her kids. But I do see now what a great guy he is...and a real hero too. I know he goes if Pat goes, but we havent been close since he moved far, thirty some years ago. It is what it is. I have an abundance of love in my life without them, if necessary.</p><p></p><p>I am not going to put more about Pat on here as it bothers her. This was my one vent. It is done. This is done. And for once, it was my decision.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 712536, member: 1550"] Thanks both. Susie, you summed it up. Yes, all my life. And i always thought it was me. Just me. I feel bad for my contribution to the estrangement. I am sorry for it. But it was impossible for me to be a good person to Pat in Pats eyes. When my mom was alive she twisted anything good I did into something bad. Example: I adopted kids to get state money. Riduculous as adopting overseas you get nothing. A private adoption through a lawyer, like for Jumper, gets you nothing. For Sonic we wete promised $425 a month and Medicaid for him. We did not adopt him for that, but my mother needed to think that was why. Nothing I said could stop her from believing I got lots of money for adopting my beloved kids. She had to make everything into something bad. Everything. Pat is not as harsh, which is why I kept having hope, but Pat is similar. The last thing she wrote to me was in a text about my text to her before that. "I didnt read that, too long." That was a bait. I wrote, finally, "Thats okay. I am done." If id written more or tried to explain it would have not been read or mocked. I give up. Pat is blocked from everyone on my Verizon plan...me, hub, two of my kids. She tried contacting Princess when I was in the hospital. I am visiting her now and warned her and she rolled her eyes saying she wasnt going to respond if that happened. I also blocked Pat from email. No contact. If she writes me snail mail I will throw it away without reading. The last thing Pat did was a show of how deeply Pat needs to get in the last word. While visiting my sick Dad in rehab, she used mt fathers pay for phone to text me one last time. I blocked that number too because Dad uses his landline exclusively. The only reason he had his pay for was because there was no phone at the rehab. He is home now. I saw him yestetday. Thats another, sadder story. Anyway that last text from my ill fathers pay for was enough to convince me I had done the right thing for both of us. I feel i have better mental health now than her, but I worked hard for it. My life is good. She makes some very self defeating choices and does not seem happy. About anything. I tried to help, but you can only help yourself... I have another sibling who is a forgiving angel and I love him to pieces. He is the best person in my entire family of origin, including deceased, as few are left. I cant be close to him...he is close to Pat and her kids. But I do see now what a great guy he is...and a real hero too. I know he goes if Pat goes, but we havent been close since he moved far, thirty some years ago. It is what it is. I have an abundance of love in my life without them, if necessary. I am not going to put more about Pat on here as it bothers her. This was my one vent. It is done. This is done. And for once, it was my decision. [/QUOTE]
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