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Family of Origin
When your past as a child, follows you as a mother, as a person.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 669864" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>When my Mother was still alive and she came to know M well, she said: Nobody in your whole life has been so good to you, treated you so well. </p><p></p><p>And it was true. Imagine that. </p><p></p><p>What does it mean, that a mother would say that? Of course, she may have actually meant what she said. But what was she saying about herself? </p><p></p><p>Was it an acknowledgement that I was given little? </p><p></p><p>Am I still trying to see through her eyes? I think so.</p><p></p><p>Let me try harder. I was a waif. I was well-dressed. I was clean. Emotionally I was as close to an urchin as there can be. </p><p></p><p>I remember no kindness from my mother. None. </p><p></p><p>I could have grown up to be a personal shopper. Because that was my role to her. To accompany her shopping and to mirror back to her her beauty.</p><p></p><p>Hours and hours waiting. I knew the Emporium Department Store like it was my own home. And Joseph Magnin. We would play on the escalator, my sister (my sister might have been 3 or 4) and I, 8. Once I fell. The elevator had come from the 2nd floor, and we were on the 3rd. (Well, that is interesting, given my fear.) I caught my leg in the stairs as the steps entered the floor at top.</p><p></p><p>I remember still the attention I got. My Mother? Trying on clothes in the dressing room.</p><p></p><p>I am getting mad now. </p><p></p><p>That has to say something. A 3 year old supervised by an 8 year old. Playing on an escalator.</p><p></p><p>And so many years later, my memories of childhood, receiving attention from strangers. </p><p></p><p>I am getting madder. </p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 669864, member: 18958"] When my Mother was still alive and she came to know M well, she said: Nobody in your whole life has been so good to you, treated you so well. And it was true. Imagine that. What does it mean, that a mother would say that? Of course, she may have actually meant what she said. But what was she saying about herself? Was it an acknowledgement that I was given little? Am I still trying to see through her eyes? I think so. Let me try harder. I was a waif. I was well-dressed. I was clean. Emotionally I was as close to an urchin as there can be. I remember no kindness from my mother. None. I could have grown up to be a personal shopper. Because that was my role to her. To accompany her shopping and to mirror back to her her beauty. Hours and hours waiting. I knew the Emporium Department Store like it was my own home. And Joseph Magnin. We would play on the escalator, my sister (my sister might have been 3 or 4) and I, 8. Once I fell. The elevator had come from the 2nd floor, and we were on the 3rd. (Well, that is interesting, given my fear.) I caught my leg in the stairs as the steps entered the floor at top. I remember still the attention I got. My Mother? Trying on clothes in the dressing room. I am getting mad now. That has to say something. A 3 year old supervised by an 8 year old. Playing on an escalator. And so many years later, my memories of childhood, receiving attention from strangers. I am getting madder. COPA [/QUOTE]
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Family of Origin
When your past as a child, follows you as a mother, as a person.
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