Where do I begin?

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by AmericanGirl, May 30, 2013.

  1. AmericanGirl

    AmericanGirl Member

    difficult child has gotten increasingly crazed this week.

    Monday, he asked to come over to introduce me to a new friend. This guy is a youth minister so I said ok. difficult child was cocky. Told me he had been begging for change in the local grocery store parking lot to buy cigarettes. I didn't react.

    He then states that because of me, he hasn't been on the work schedule for nearly two weeks. You see, he wanted to attend a vacation Bible school meeting at church We were together and both signed up to help. But, he thought if I thought he was working, then I wouldn't go. So, he told me he was working when he wasn't. He also knew I had tickets to go someplace else that day and couldn't go myself which makes it more confusing. Trouble is -- he got confused as to when he really worked and forgot to go. They won't put him back on the schedule until he comes to talk to them. Make sense? It's again ALL MY fault.

    Later he got ugly saying, "Since you have all this, I don't know why you cannot help me out." I simply said "You need to leave." difficult child didn't. I repeated it and walked him to the door. He called me crazy. I said I love you.

    difficult child calls later. Acts like nothing happened.

    He then starts friending old family members. Like ones with addictions that neither of us have talked to in years. I spoke with one and sent an email to a few others just saying that you may need to know what is going on with difficult child.

    At 11 pm last night, difficult child called. Demanded his SS card and passport. I say you don't have a passport. He called me a liar. He doesn't. Said I had to produce them by Friday or he would "get a warrant." He then said he was in touch with family members and now knew his bio dad was 'an amazing dad' and he looked forward to getting in touch with him. This is the same who physically abused him at age 3-4 and then gave up rights. I hung up.

    This morning, I saw he had sent me a FB message demanding the documents. I screwed up and accidentally sent him a message intended for my sister. I admited he scared me and that I was being careful. I also gave him my FB password. DUMB..... I went and changed all my passwords. I then opted to close my FB account and open a new one in a different name. I sent notes explaining why to close friends.

    Anyhow he is self destructing. He realizes now he has failed the class he just finished that I won't help him go to school any more. He doesn't want to work.

    Time to step back. Protect myself. Recenter. Wait a safe distance away from him to hit rock bottom. Live my life in the meantime.
  2. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    That fact that it's all your fault is typical difficult child thinking. Mine does that all the time. He would never have gotten into trouble if I hadn't done this or that. Whatever.

    If he says he's going to get a warrant for his documents, let him. That takes time. Give him his SS card, but tell whoever comes to the door that there is no passport and never was one.

    If he calls again, I would let it go to voicemail.

    I'm sorry that he's spinning so out of control.
  3. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    Yup - the blame game. HATE it. My difficult child tried it again today and then admitted SHE is the one that failed the test. (I should have recorded it!!!)

    (((HUGS))) I am so sorry he is spiralling.... :(
  4. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    This must be very scary and crazy for you, AG. Hugs and lots of support to you.
  5. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    Hugs honey. We've all been there done that, they lay the blame on us because it's so much easier to do than to blame themselves. They know we love them unconditionally and somehow that translates into turning on us in anger - it's like we are a safe place for them to vent & hate.

    *I hope you have a peaceful day for the rest of today.