Where do I go to from here?

[surviving]

I'm not having a good day!
Our oldest son now 20, was diagnosed with ADHD at 6. He was on Ritalin till about 14, when he simply refused to take it anymore.
Over the years we've seen every specialist & shrink under the sun. He can't sit still, can't get up to go to college on time. Can't go to sleep on time & in general has no controll over his impulses.
When he was 17 he was diagnosed with cancer which was thankfully treated successfully.
It was a very difficult time for all of us.
I just found out that he's been smoking! This is after he's had cancer & which he knows is very dangerous for anyone especially for someone with his background.
I just cant belive the stupidity of it, when we went crazy he agreed to take ritalin but I honestly don't believe him. He's deceived us so often that there no trust left.
Where do we go another shrink? his oncologist?

 

[PatriotsGirl]

Ugh, I feel for you. I honestly don't know what these kids are thinking. My father died of lung cancer and I have had cancer with one recurrence. Still, my daughter continues to smoke. No one else in my home does and she knows that I truly despise smoking. Maybe that's why she continues to do it

 

[BusynMember]

You may want to post on Parent Emeritus. It's the forum for parents of grown children. It is very hard for us to force our grown kids to take good care of themselves. I understand your fear.
Try over there and see what they say.

 

[susiestar]

Is he still living at home? Are you supporting him? You may want to make any support from you dependent on him not using any tobacco. It will be very very hard to implement but it can be done. You have to be VERY willing to kick him out and not give him a penny. Don't threaten it if you will not 100% follow through.