Where do I start..

Discussion in 'Special Ed 101' started by Hardykccat, Jan 29, 2014.

  1. Hardykccat

    Hardykccat New Member

    So my difficult child Son, Age 11 was sent home again today from school. This is the 3rd time this year it has happend. He was sent home for non-compliance and disruptive behavior. He does have an IEP and I had a meeting on Monday with my advocate from the Regional Center. I can't say anything was really resolved as I told them I have an appointment for my difficult child to see a physciarist in February. We are to reconvene after and then talk about what to do next.

    He does have a behavior plan they are currently "tweaking" to find the right reward based program for him. Today they reminded him several times about the reward and he just flat said he "didnt care".

    At home, he tells me he "fing hates me" and slams the door to his room, then comes down 10 minutes later and says he is sorry. That being sent home wasnt his fault and it was an accident, and the work was to hard.

    difficult child has weekly thearpist meetings. We both go and talk to the thearpist together, though she tends to direct more on me then him, so I am not so sure that it is so helpful.

    I have a meeting with the Special Education Superintendent on Friday to go over this sending home thing. I have been told by his former teacher (he was moved to a different school/teacher this year because he is in a speical day class and the class for his grade level (5) is at this new school) that they can not send him home like that if it is not in his IEP.

    This year has been a total living nightmare. He dislikes his new school, he dislikes all the teachers, he dislikes a student that he has trouble with in the past for bullying. Transition is really difficult for him and the new school doesn't seem to be trying to make it any easier for him.

    The advocate from the Regional Center is talking about sending him to a school with kids with behavior problems. But according to the rep at the school board, difficult child isn't ready to go to a school with kids with severe bevhaior problems.

    Anyone have any ideas, sugggestions? I am pretty much at my wits end.
  2. Jules71

    Jules71 Warrior Mom since 2007

    I started reading this and wondered if my husband joined since it sounded so familiar. I'm in the process of a 3 yr re-evaluation and have just sent in a letter asking that all punitive measures stop until we can do a FBA/BIP. We'll see what happens. Perhaps you can do something similar. The copy of the letter is in one of my recent threads.

    Poking someone with a straightened paperclip is something my difficult child has done more than once. I don't know what the answer is. It's clear my difficult child does NOT want to be there (at school) and I don't think anything is going to change that.

    Any chance you can go back to the old school?
  3. Hardykccat

    Hardykccat New Member

    Thank you Jules for your response.

    My difficult child doesnt like this new school. He really just doesn't like it at all. I wish he could go back to his old school as I have an wonderful relationship with his old teacher. She understands him and his quirks and behaviors. But, unfortunally, his old school the Special Education only goes until 4th grade and I tried and pleaded with him to hold him back a year. His sister, my other difficult child was held back in Kindergarten and it was quite helpful to her, though she isnt as bad as he is. They refused to hold him back, citing that the IEP wont allow that to happen.

    I have had a love/hate relationship with the teacher of his new school from day one. Day one, first day at new school, new classroom, new teacher, she doesnt even show up early so I can speak to her and get my difficult child acclimatd to the new enviornment. I was forced to leave him at the door so I could get my other difficult child to her school ontime. She seems to care when I talk to her, but then she does things like send him home because she can't get him to cooperate.

    The funny thing, is though, if they call me and ask me to come over and talk to him when the behavior starts, I can usually end it pretty quickly. But they refuse to call me to come to the classroom and end up getting frustrated with him and sending him home.

    It is frustrating and I just want to give up and say screw it with the school and get him home schooled with a tutor. That might be better for him.
  4. Jules71

    Jules71 Warrior Mom since 2007

    Did you have your meeting with the Special Education Superintendent to go over sending him home? I would seriously send them a letter asking them to perform a functional behavior assessment and develop a new positive behavior plan and until then for them to stop the punitive measures and stop sending him home as that is only reinforcing the behavior --since he doesn't want to be there (he misbehaves, he goes home, he wins).

    Did they initially do an FBA when they came up with his existing behavior plan? If so, what did they find? From what I understand most of these professionals will come up with the child is misbehaving to either gain or avoid something. That's not always the case. He could be lacking skills needed in order to behave in an adaptive way. Take a look the Lives in the Balance website, based on Ross Greene's theory "Kids do well if they can".

    Read the part "When are challenging kids challenging?":
    http://www.livesinthebalance.org/sites/default/files/One Page Overview 11-12-12.pdf