How do you know if you still love them??? After all of these years, and all of this torment in every day life, I know that there isn't much at all if anything that I like about my child. There is so much guilt and anger associated with that statement. Looking at her is getting harder and harder every day. I cannot stand to be around her. She is almost always mean and if she's not being mean she's being manipulative. Everything we do is ruined because of her nasty, mouth and behavior. No responsibility for anything, the lies, excuses, I'm sorry. I hate to even hear it come out of her mouth. It makes me almost physically sick to hear those words. I am in no way celebrating her birthday next month. Not even acknowledging it. I just don't feel I can. I can't celebrate something that has caused such great pain. I have begun to go back to church. I want to be able to work thru some of this, but I can't seem to let it go. It feels impossible because she is still doing it everyday. I make a few steps in the right direction, go home and there she is talking crazy, I do mean crazy. She spilled a whole pitcher of grape kool-aid on the floor, and she left it there, She said I cleaned up the spill the last time, something got knocked over, your turn. Who does that. I would have cleaned that up so fast so my mother would not have known. I said get the mop and clean it up, she said nope not going to, do it yourself. I am already not doing anything for her period. NOTHING. What do you do from here? I can't live like this for 6 more years. I am going to stay off the Parent Emeritus Board. I thought I was getting prepared for what was to come when she turns 18, but it justs scares me. I want to be detached asap if she doesn't make some changes and quick. I often dream of this different life without her in it. I want to live near my Cousins and Aunt/Uncle. They are about 2 1/2 miles away. I dream of a nice clean apartment with my dog, and a nice patio for flowers. I keep thinking one day. It will be here soon. I dream and think of getting up and not having her yell at me or my dog. Those morning when she stays at my best friends house are the best days, no tension or mean words, no YELLING and temper tantrums. I think the only way to survive this is to stay away from her as much as I possibly can. I hate that and it's not what I want, but for my mental health/physical health, I just think it's best to try and survive these next several years with minimal contact.