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Where there any signs or you where blindsided?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 694633" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Actually, no. But maybe I was in denial. My son always had issues in school related to ADHD: impulsivity, difficulty coping, distracted. He was never a bad kid but he needed more attention than the average kid and was frequently harder to handle--not a bad or disrespect or unruly kid, but a hand full at school. And at home, not a problem.I was shocked when first, my son as to be expected became oppositional at age 15 or so, and even more shocked became depressed and unmotivated at 17 or 18. </p><p></p><p>I pushed him to go to college. I pushed him to go to job training. I pushed him to another job training and all along I could not believe he and I were having such a hard time.</p><p></p><p>And even more shocked when he insisted he was mentally ill. Nothing played out as I expected. And I think that was a large part of the problem. I had unrealistic expectations. </p><p></p><p>My son is adopted and he had hard, hard things to come to terms with: the fate of his birth parents, realizing he had a chronic disease that he had acquired at birth, that neither he nor I knew about. And there was also the fact that I denied the possibility that he would inherit any tendency towards mental illness from his parents, both of which had diagnosed mental illnesses. </p><p></p><p>I always made the assumption that the mental illness diagnoses were a result of drug use, not the other way around. I made this assumption because it suited me. </p><p></p><p>So, that I did not see it coming really had more to do with me. There were signs if I had looked for them. Or even, if I had been open to seeing them. I got him treatment all the way along. A lot of it. But I believed that every single thing I could remedy. There is no remedy for life.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 694633, member: 18958"] Actually, no. But maybe I was in denial. My son always had issues in school related to ADHD: impulsivity, difficulty coping, distracted. He was never a bad kid but he needed more attention than the average kid and was frequently harder to handle--not a bad or disrespect or unruly kid, but a hand full at school. And at home, not a problem.I was shocked when first, my son as to be expected became oppositional at age 15 or so, and even more shocked became depressed and unmotivated at 17 or 18. I pushed him to go to college. I pushed him to go to job training. I pushed him to another job training and all along I could not believe he and I were having such a hard time. And even more shocked when he insisted he was mentally ill. Nothing played out as I expected. And I think that was a large part of the problem. I had unrealistic expectations. My son is adopted and he had hard, hard things to come to terms with: the fate of his birth parents, realizing he had a chronic disease that he had acquired at birth, that neither he nor I knew about. And there was also the fact that I denied the possibility that he would inherit any tendency towards mental illness from his parents, both of which had diagnosed mental illnesses. I always made the assumption that the mental illness diagnoses were a result of drug use, not the other way around. I made this assumption because it suited me. So, that I did not see it coming really had more to do with me. There were signs if I had looked for them. Or even, if I had been open to seeing them. I got him treatment all the way along. A lot of it. But I believed that every single thing I could remedy. There is no remedy for life. [/QUOTE]
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Where there any signs or you where blindsided?
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