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Where there any signs or you where blindsided?
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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 694661" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>Hindsight being 20/20...sure there were signs. But we didn't see them then and thus we were blindsided.</p><p></p><p>My son was always difficult. As a baby he was difficult. His babysitter said she had never seen a baby that was as hard-headed and stubborn. If he wanted something, then he WOULD get it. Period. He was prone to tantrums. He was expelled from a daycare! A child psychiatrist told me he'd never be an "easy kid", but he didn't need medication. He was always so DRAMATIC. We took to saying he was like an adolescent girl when he was about 9. He was a good, but lazy student. By the same token, he was jealous of people who did better. In high school he'd ace tests, but refuse to do homework, have an F at mid-term and bring it up to a C or B by terms end. He listened to screamo / death metal, wore all black, denied being "goth" or "emo" and just kind of set his own style. He and his friends looked like an 80's metal band. lol...we let him express himself, drawing the line at hair dye, makeup, piercing or tattoos. Still, of his friend's parents we were the "tough" ones. I'd have a kid crash at the house and when I'd make him call his parents before I'd say yes, they'd be shocked. Their parents didn't care if they called or stayed out. Turns out he was hanging with the stoners because "they were the only ones nice" to him. We didn't know. He never seemed altered. We'd smell pot on his friends at times, but not on him. Eventually, his non-stoner friends from grade school drifted away from him. He hung out with losers, so he was one by association. He refused to get a job. He consistently missed curfew...but by like, 10 minutes, not by an hour. Still moody. Still prone to tantrums...screaming, putting his fist thru a door, etc. But usually not directed AT us. He didn't swear AT us. He didn't blame US for anything. WE were not what he was mad at. I thought he'd eventually learn self-control.</p><p></p><p>Until the day he called us after church (he declared himself an atheist at 16) and asked for food. When we got it there, he was staggering stoned on artificial weed. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /> Once he sobered up, he packed a backpack and left home. That was the first time I realized how bad it was.</p><p></p><p>Then it got worse.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 694661, member: 17309"] Hindsight being 20/20...sure there were signs. But we didn't see them then and thus we were blindsided. My son was always difficult. As a baby he was difficult. His babysitter said she had never seen a baby that was as hard-headed and stubborn. If he wanted something, then he WOULD get it. Period. He was prone to tantrums. He was expelled from a daycare! A child psychiatrist told me he'd never be an "easy kid", but he didn't need medication. He was always so DRAMATIC. We took to saying he was like an adolescent girl when he was about 9. He was a good, but lazy student. By the same token, he was jealous of people who did better. In high school he'd ace tests, but refuse to do homework, have an F at mid-term and bring it up to a C or B by terms end. He listened to screamo / death metal, wore all black, denied being "goth" or "emo" and just kind of set his own style. He and his friends looked like an 80's metal band. lol...we let him express himself, drawing the line at hair dye, makeup, piercing or tattoos. Still, of his friend's parents we were the "tough" ones. I'd have a kid crash at the house and when I'd make him call his parents before I'd say yes, they'd be shocked. Their parents didn't care if they called or stayed out. Turns out he was hanging with the stoners because "they were the only ones nice" to him. We didn't know. He never seemed altered. We'd smell pot on his friends at times, but not on him. Eventually, his non-stoner friends from grade school drifted away from him. He hung out with losers, so he was one by association. He refused to get a job. He consistently missed curfew...but by like, 10 minutes, not by an hour. Still moody. Still prone to tantrums...screaming, putting his fist thru a door, etc. But usually not directed AT us. He didn't swear AT us. He didn't blame US for anything. WE were not what he was mad at. I thought he'd eventually learn self-control. Until the day he called us after church (he declared himself an atheist at 16) and asked for food. When we got it there, he was staggering stoned on artificial weed. :( Once he sobered up, he packed a backpack and left home. That was the first time I realized how bad it was. Then it got worse. [/QUOTE]
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Where there any signs or you where blindsided?
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