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Where there any signs or you where blindsided?
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<blockquote data-quote="savior no more" data-source="post: 694674" data-attributes="member: 19838"><p>There has never been a time since my child was three that I didn't struggle with him fitting in somewhere. At first it was daycare where he couldn't sit in circle and would go hide in the shelves and say his bones hurt. Then it was church where he couldn't sit through the service or memorize the lessons. Next it was all the grueling years of school where he would create negative attention when he couldn't do the work - such as throwing desks, etc. He would have meltdowns in the mall when he couldn't have the knife or handcuffs he wanted (at age 4). He would get in the middle of the road and scream when we found a lost dogs owner that we had to return. He couldn't sit through Broadway plays. I thought it couldn't get worse than school, but substance abuse and jails came. Worse than this was him being beaten by drug dealers and left to die several times. It wasn't all a struggle -- there have been the sweetest, poignant times of him being semi-normal and able to function. I still cling to these illusory times of normalcy like they may appear again, but somehow deep down I don't hold my breath.</p><p></p><p>At this point I have ceased to judge his life, where he is, or his fate. Beyond knowing my limits of what I can and can't do, my effort is better spent on advocating for him and holding loving thoughts and intention for him and me and all of those given the task of attending to him (i.e. jailers, judges, etc). I interact with a lot of people who either are in his boat or are the parents as I work in healthcare and I frankly think we are facing something societally that we aren't ready for. I also think these instances of mood instability and lack of maturing and inability to live according to society's standards is increasing. I cringe at the last statement because the open-spiritual part of me knows that we are all just humans on a journey and who am I to say the person living on the bench in the park isn't okay exactly as they are? How do I know? One thing for certain, raising this child has forced me to be a more loving, kind person to anyone who struggles with brain and developmental issues. For that I'm grateful. I'm almost ready to move out of my "pitiful" story with my son and break free <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="savior no more, post: 694674, member: 19838"] There has never been a time since my child was three that I didn't struggle with him fitting in somewhere. At first it was daycare where he couldn't sit in circle and would go hide in the shelves and say his bones hurt. Then it was church where he couldn't sit through the service or memorize the lessons. Next it was all the grueling years of school where he would create negative attention when he couldn't do the work - such as throwing desks, etc. He would have meltdowns in the mall when he couldn't have the knife or handcuffs he wanted (at age 4). He would get in the middle of the road and scream when we found a lost dogs owner that we had to return. He couldn't sit through Broadway plays. I thought it couldn't get worse than school, but substance abuse and jails came. Worse than this was him being beaten by drug dealers and left to die several times. It wasn't all a struggle -- there have been the sweetest, poignant times of him being semi-normal and able to function. I still cling to these illusory times of normalcy like they may appear again, but somehow deep down I don't hold my breath. At this point I have ceased to judge his life, where he is, or his fate. Beyond knowing my limits of what I can and can't do, my effort is better spent on advocating for him and holding loving thoughts and intention for him and me and all of those given the task of attending to him (i.e. jailers, judges, etc). I interact with a lot of people who either are in his boat or are the parents as I work in healthcare and I frankly think we are facing something societally that we aren't ready for. I also think these instances of mood instability and lack of maturing and inability to live according to society's standards is increasing. I cringe at the last statement because the open-spiritual part of me knows that we are all just humans on a journey and who am I to say the person living on the bench in the park isn't okay exactly as they are? How do I know? One thing for certain, raising this child has forced me to be a more loving, kind person to anyone who struggles with brain and developmental issues. For that I'm grateful. I'm almost ready to move out of my "pitiful" story with my son and break free :) [/QUOTE]
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Where there any signs or you where blindsided?
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