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General Parenting
Who do we trust?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 724132" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>the issue to me as much as trust is responsibility. </p><p></p><p>if any mandated reporter withholds info which under the law is considered mandatory to disclose, they act contrary to laws governing their professional conduct.</p><p></p><p>there is discretion which can be subjective. but honestly. i cannot know what would be best for your son. he could well have been molested. the anger and shame might point to that. </p><p></p><p>sometimes we might fear we have desires for something that feels taboo. which are not primary. but are the result of our trying to suppress feelings or fearful memories-and processing what happened to us. i know this has been true for me. your son's best interest might be for the place to disclose his urges or fantasies. </p><p></p><p>even if cps were to be called there are likely to be highly compassionate and skilled people who specialize in dealing with children.</p><p></p><p>are there therapists in your area who work with sexually abused children and families where abuse may have occured? </p><p></p><p>al anon is a safe place where there might be support for you in a non-judgemental environment. i do not remember if you considered whether drugs might be an issue. </p><p></p><p>while nobody here can diagnose your son </p><p>he might be experiencing a major mental illness. and his fantasies and behaviors might be secondary to that. </p><p></p><p>is there a children's hospital near you? they would have a child dev/psychiatry dept. with psychologist, psychiatrist and social worker on staff. they could deal with anything. it might be worth traveling to a children's hospital.</p><p></p><p>i feel that your son's best interests could be served by you and/or your husband speaking to him first. if you feel he may be suicidal you might identify a course of action before you do so. i mght google--how to speak to your child about shame and sexual fantasies. or asking about sexual abuse. or something like that.</p><p></p><p>i learn a lot on google. that is how i found this forum. i entered the specific questions or fears i had. </p><p></p><p>i am sorry you have to be here with us but glad you are if it helps.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 724132, member: 18958"] the issue to me as much as trust is responsibility. if any mandated reporter withholds info which under the law is considered mandatory to disclose, they act contrary to laws governing their professional conduct. there is discretion which can be subjective. but honestly. i cannot know what would be best for your son. he could well have been molested. the anger and shame might point to that. sometimes we might fear we have desires for something that feels taboo. which are not primary. but are the result of our trying to suppress feelings or fearful memories-and processing what happened to us. i know this has been true for me. your son's best interest might be for the place to disclose his urges or fantasies. even if cps were to be called there are likely to be highly compassionate and skilled people who specialize in dealing with children. are there therapists in your area who work with sexually abused children and families where abuse may have occured? al anon is a safe place where there might be support for you in a non-judgemental environment. i do not remember if you considered whether drugs might be an issue. while nobody here can diagnose your son he might be experiencing a major mental illness. and his fantasies and behaviors might be secondary to that. is there a children's hospital near you? they would have a child dev/psychiatry dept. with psychologist, psychiatrist and social worker on staff. they could deal with anything. it might be worth traveling to a children's hospital. i feel that your son's best interests could be served by you and/or your husband speaking to him first. if you feel he may be suicidal you might identify a course of action before you do so. i mght google--how to speak to your child about shame and sexual fantasies. or asking about sexual abuse. or something like that. i learn a lot on google. that is how i found this forum. i entered the specific questions or fears i had. i am sorry you have to be here with us but glad you are if it helps. [/QUOTE]
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