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Parent Emeritus
Who's Going to Die?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 700461" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I think it's fine to let the girls come. Your sister? Your call. Most of all, in my opinion it's best for you to back off. You can't fix this. If somebody does get hurt, and you don't know if that will happen for sure, it is not because of you. You have no ability to fix this.</p><p></p><p>Most of us here have learned that talking to somebody about fixing their problem (such as it seems you engage your sister and her family) does nothing to change things for the better. They know the situation is very bad but are unwilling to listen to how to make it better.</p><p></p><p>If your nephew is able bodied it is fine for his parrnts to make him leave for their safety and those of the minor child. He can work. If he wont, he is an adult...then he probably will become homeless by his own choosing. But paying for an apartment for him probably won't work...he will probably break the rules and get tossed out. But if they can afford it, it is an option.</p><p></p><p>Sadly, it is moot. This matter is 100% up to the parents. The other kids can and probably will leave home. It's the parents home and in my opinion should be their sanctuary. If they are unwilling to protect themselves...you will want to help because you love them. We all love our family.</p><p></p><p>But often there us nothing we can do. We can point things out. I'm sure you have. But there is no way to force people to take care of themselves.</p><p></p><p>I hope you maybe talk to a therapist to help you cope with this difficult and heartbreaking family problem. It is hard to watch things like this without a neutral third person perspective to help you find peace about things you can't control...you have done all you can. You are a good person.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 700461, member: 1550"] I think it's fine to let the girls come. Your sister? Your call. Most of all, in my opinion it's best for you to back off. You can't fix this. If somebody does get hurt, and you don't know if that will happen for sure, it is not because of you. You have no ability to fix this. Most of us here have learned that talking to somebody about fixing their problem (such as it seems you engage your sister and her family) does nothing to change things for the better. They know the situation is very bad but are unwilling to listen to how to make it better. If your nephew is able bodied it is fine for his parrnts to make him leave for their safety and those of the minor child. He can work. If he wont, he is an adult...then he probably will become homeless by his own choosing. But paying for an apartment for him probably won't work...he will probably break the rules and get tossed out. But if they can afford it, it is an option. Sadly, it is moot. This matter is 100% up to the parents. The other kids can and probably will leave home. It's the parents home and in my opinion should be their sanctuary. If they are unwilling to protect themselves...you will want to help because you love them. We all love our family. But often there us nothing we can do. We can point things out. I'm sure you have. But there is no way to force people to take care of themselves. I hope you maybe talk to a therapist to help you cope with this difficult and heartbreaking family problem. It is hard to watch things like this without a neutral third person perspective to help you find peace about things you can't control...you have done all you can. You are a good person. [/QUOTE]
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