Why am I the one who sees the mess? Vent.

KTMom91

Well-Known Member
Yep.

My house hasn't been cleaned for over a year...and why? Because I've had three surgeries, and now the piggy flu. Between Hubby and Miss KT, hearing the "Why doesn't he/she do it?" is worse that attempting to do it myself.
 

Star*

call 911........call 911
Susie*

I worked for a company years ago that closed due to the owner retiring. I got unemployment for a while and it became really easy to just lay around, nap and pretend that someone was taking care of me. It was actually nice for a while NOT to have the hassle and stress of a job because I had worked every day since I was 14, and have not had an honest to gosh vacation since I was 16.

The only thing I can tell you in this nap till X, play on computer till X, ? It's bull. I think what jerked me back into reality was getting a really good look at my bank account, my bills laid out before me and thinking - O.M.G. here's what I have coming in...and here's what I have going OUT. I didn't need to be reminded ...is what I kept telling myself - but I DID.

I really needed to kick myself in the pants because it just got to the point where I really REALLY started to resent DF for being ABLE to stay home and being disabled and NOT doing more things at home. Maybe sitting down with DF and asking him what his goals and realities are will help stop some of your worrying and get him motivated. Maybe having him reconnect with some of his other co-workers and see where they are at this time will GET him motivated and OUT OF YOUR SPACE.

Cause that's what this is....he's IN YOUR SPACE. He would NO MORE appreciate YOU being in his office all day long hanging out and lounging around doing your thing - than you are having him there doing HIS thing in YOUR space. For XX years - THAT HOUSE has been YOUR SPACE.

This is why a lot of couples have so many problems when the husband retires. They have no idea how to reconnect...he's been off to work and she's stayed home and now all of a sudden from 8-5 it's like there is an intruder in the house. I bet you - if he were gone 3-4 days a week looking for a job or even just OUT OF THE HOUSE - 8-5 m-f and out of YOUR SPACE? The mess wouldn't get to you as much - and neither would a whole lot of other things...HE does.

I'm just sayin. I know how it was when DF became disabled and was here EVERY Saturday and Sunday it was like slap the top of my head and drag my hand over my face - OMG will you please just flippin GO SOMEWHERE - I didn't care if it was outside.....just please leave me alone - I had no more alone time...and to this day - now? I've never had a single day ALONE in this house...not one day. Not one. Not more than 3 hours...nae - 2 hours. It's tough. I even said I'd pay for a ticket for him to GO HOME TO ND.......?? YES??? noooooooope. sigh...so maybe you can talk to him about finding something to do - I suggested before - volunteering where he is needed....to be needed. and out of your space..but don't let HIM know he's in your space.....cause they think it's THEIR space since they pay for it. see? Just find him something to do. You'll both feel better

Hugs
 
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