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Why can't family be supportive?
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<blockquote data-quote="southernmomma" data-source="post: 74580" data-attributes="member: 4037"><p>I have always been reserved about things that are going on with me or my family as far as behaviors, diagnosis's, etc. I have learned from the six years that we've been married, my husband's family (at least my father in law's side) are drama-hungry and want anything and everything they can get their ears and eyes on. I'm pretty skittish about what to tell my mother in law about what is going on because I know my father in law will find out and the crap will hit the fan.</p><p>I guess to explain that better, let me start from the top. My father in law has always been the type to get in everyones business, even when it doesn't concern him and then he goes off and tells his mother (husband's grandmother) who in turn tells the rest of HER kids and they tell THEIR kids, etc. Eventually, things get so blown out of proportion that I'm the one who turns into the black sheep. Once my husband and I started initiating stronger punishments to deal with difficult child's behavior, I was accused of child abuse. (in a nut shell, the accusations came when husband and I wouldn't let difficult child go with father in law somewhere because he had been bad...no physical contact AT ALL!). father in law had called social services and they came to my home with the complaint of child abuse. After that, anytime I did something or said something out of the way, I was suddenly the bad parent. After the behavior escelated and I insisted his pediatrician. dr. helping me out and they refered me to a child psychologist, I insisted the husband and I keep this on a NTK basis. We spoke to my mother in law about it prior to the trip and let her know we were "thinking about it" and she agreed. I know this is getting WAY off basis, but I just wanted to get it out. I don't want to go into details with my mother in law and/or even risk anyone on my father in law's side knowing. I've already beaten around the bush about it and it's getting harder and harder. I WANT to let them all know about what is going on, but I also know as soon as I do, they will have every legal government agency on my butt. They've already told me to my face that I need to (and I quote) "Step up and be a parent, not a babysitter" and i need to "start punishing him more and harder" That is such a low blow. I"ve been walking on eggshells since the crap with CFS and now I am dealing with this. It seems like I'm going at this alone. husband is behind me 100% but he has other stresses too and says it's basically up to me to deal iwth his treatments and stuff. My sister in law is a good support, but she's in TX. </p><p>For my sanity, should I seek treatment as well? Should I see a GP or a Psychologist? I could go on forever about what husband's family has done to me/difficult child/easy child. I'm really afraid too that husband's grandmother has fuled a lot of these issues into existance. Is that possible?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="southernmomma, post: 74580, member: 4037"] I have always been reserved about things that are going on with me or my family as far as behaviors, diagnosis's, etc. I have learned from the six years that we've been married, my husband's family (at least my father in law's side) are drama-hungry and want anything and everything they can get their ears and eyes on. I'm pretty skittish about what to tell my mother in law about what is going on because I know my father in law will find out and the crap will hit the fan. I guess to explain that better, let me start from the top. My father in law has always been the type to get in everyones business, even when it doesn't concern him and then he goes off and tells his mother (husband's grandmother) who in turn tells the rest of HER kids and they tell THEIR kids, etc. Eventually, things get so blown out of proportion that I'm the one who turns into the black sheep. Once my husband and I started initiating stronger punishments to deal with difficult child's behavior, I was accused of child abuse. (in a nut shell, the accusations came when husband and I wouldn't let difficult child go with father in law somewhere because he had been bad...no physical contact AT ALL!). father in law had called social services and they came to my home with the complaint of child abuse. After that, anytime I did something or said something out of the way, I was suddenly the bad parent. After the behavior escelated and I insisted his pediatrician. dr. helping me out and they refered me to a child psychologist, I insisted the husband and I keep this on a NTK basis. We spoke to my mother in law about it prior to the trip and let her know we were "thinking about it" and she agreed. I know this is getting WAY off basis, but I just wanted to get it out. I don't want to go into details with my mother in law and/or even risk anyone on my father in law's side knowing. I've already beaten around the bush about it and it's getting harder and harder. I WANT to let them all know about what is going on, but I also know as soon as I do, they will have every legal government agency on my butt. They've already told me to my face that I need to (and I quote) "Step up and be a parent, not a babysitter" and i need to "start punishing him more and harder" That is such a low blow. I"ve been walking on eggshells since the crap with CFS and now I am dealing with this. It seems like I'm going at this alone. husband is behind me 100% but he has other stresses too and says it's basically up to me to deal iwth his treatments and stuff. My sister in law is a good support, but she's in TX. For my sanity, should I seek treatment as well? Should I see a GP or a Psychologist? I could go on forever about what husband's family has done to me/difficult child/easy child. I'm really afraid too that husband's grandmother has fuled a lot of these issues into existance. Is that possible? [/QUOTE]
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