Why cant it be like this all the time?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by dmf, Jun 30, 2011.

  1. dmf

    dmf New Member

    ok, second attempt at posting...

    This morning started off not so great with difficult child searching the house until he found lolly bananas and eating them all. This then triggered poor behaviour which generally quickly spirals out of control.

    Thankfully though, this morning was a good morning to go out the front and ride bikes and get some fresh air and sunshine. Both boys rode their bikes (well, easy child played and watched difficult child) until I said it was time to quickly go to the shops to get some things for lunch. It looked like it was going to be an argument, but he held it together and got in the car as asked.

    At the shops I left him and his brother in the car (something I don't like doing) so I could run in and get milk. Coming back out I found he had searched everything in the car, played with my mirrors and changed settings on things but he had left his brother alone.

    At home easy child went to bed and difficult child has been sitting on the floor next to me playing lego, with a movie on in the background. He ate the lunch I gave him without argument and has been playing nicely and quietly (although building army things) for close to 2 hours. It has been lovely and calm and peaceful.

    Unfortunately at some point I will have to ask him to put the lego away so easy child doesnt eat it, or get him to do something and it will all go to hell. But why, oh why cant it be like this always? even a whole day of this I would be happy with.

    I am so tired of all the animosity and unhappiness in this house that i would pretty much give anything to have this calm for longer.
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    By nature, our difficult child's are not stable. They can have good days or weeks and even a good-for-this-particular-child year. But if they are really a difficult child, they kind of cycle in behavior. We get hopeful, then the other shoe drops. It's kind of like being on a roller coaster.
    It is particularly difficult when children can not transition from one activity to another because, of course, life IS transition.
    Hang in there and keep us posted. And try to take care of YOU.
  3. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    Hello. Yes, it's tough, I know, when you find yourself getting lulled into a sense of security that then just turns out to be false... in the sense of not lasting. The way I've come to look at it is that I'm grateful for the "good times" and the "reasonable times" and glad that there are some. I don't think I'm very good at dealing with the "difficult child" moments - how about you? It seems to me the calmer and more stable one can be, the better for the child and the acting out. But we are not all paragons of virtue.
    Was there anything about this day that made it different, that could account for your son's calmness and reasonableness? Or was it completely arbitrary? You do not talk about medications. Does your son take them?
    I suppose the 64,000 dollar question is how to make transitions and changes without there being what I call (being English) "a big fuss"...