Why did he even come home?

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by NOLA, Feb 3, 2008.

  1. NOLA

    NOLA New Member

    Well, the honeymoon is over - that didn't take long - he just left to go to a parade & left his aim open on the computer - long story short he told his friend to get them some cid (he'd spring for it) since he made $120 last night at work - also said something like 'i want at least 2, strip & flip' ? I'm guessing that means Acid right?

    My blood is boiling - I don't know why - it's basically what I expected, just not this soon. He didn't even do his community service yet & have a chance to be evaluated!

    Here's what I'm thinking--first to call the PO in the morning & bring her the IM text (I cut & pasted) & tell him he can either a) go to in-patient rehab now & follow all advice given to him by the professionals (which will include giving up all using friends) or b) hit the road, not sure we can do that since he's 17 but he won't be living here

    husband is going to get a drug screen from the store so he can test him soon as he walks in ---

    This is such a joke
  2. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    I'm so sorry. Not surprised, just sorry. Amazing that he'd be stupid enough to leave it open to find like that. Druggies can be so dang stupid!

  3. NOLA

    NOLA New Member

    Thanks Meow - My difficult child brings stupidity up to a new level :not_fair:

    I could tell in my heart after the way he spoke so lovingly about weed, etc., he wasn't on board for the long haul but was just hoping that maybe by being home, getting back to work, GED, on to college he might see himself in a different light but as usual I was wrong :why:
  4. ck1

    ck1 New Member

    NOLA: Good job for being so on the ball (cut and pasting) and for being prepared for with the drug test! As parents, doing the right thing is definitely not easy.

    Sending lots of hugs and strength.....
  5. Mikey

    Mikey Psycho Gorilla Dad

    NOLA, I'm so sorry to hear about this. It seems like when the grip of drugs pulls 'em in, it becomes their whole world. McWeedy is the same way; on diversion, breaks every rule he can, still drinking, and doesn't care. His only friends are other druggies like him. Every good thiing in the world couldn't drag him away from that life.

    I wish there were pills or something we could take to make our hearts harder, but alas, it isn't to be. I fluctuate between visions of viscious body slams, to turning him out in the cold, to wondering what he would do on his own (likely kill himself, or get himself killed). But regardless of how I feel, there's one constant: the pain of having my son be the person that he is - that the CHOOSES to be. We all feel your pain. We've all been there.

    Know that there are others here who will keep you and your son in our prayers. I'll pray for strength, peace, and grace for you.


  6. PonyGirl

    PonyGirl Warrior Parent

    Just wanted to say, I'm sorry for your hurting heart. And I think your plan to call the PO is a good one. I'll be thinking of you today.
  7. Coookie

    Coookie Active Member

    Sending gentle hugs too you. :( No words of wisdom just hugs. :(
  8. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Sending more hugs to you also. My difficult child leaves her AIM up all the time - it's how I catch her at almost every stupid thing she does. :biting:

  9. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    He came home because he ran out of other places to stay! Honestly, his "friends" had probably had enough of him. Once he meets a new crowd, he will be gone again. That is unless you can get him into rehab before he runs again. Sometimes its easier when we don't have to "see" the evidence that their choices are ruining their lives and health. It's easier to let go when they aren't in our daily lives.

    My difficult child came home Saturday to wash clothes. I told husband to tell him to just wait until Wed. when he had an appointment. set up. Unfortunately we couldn't trasnsfer some of his money into his account electronically---husband was supposed to have set this up---and he came to spend the night. After less than 30 minutes---I was ready for him to leave again. It makes me sad to not want him home, but he is just so argumentative and difficult to get along with that I do better with a few minutes on the phone every other day.

    TYLERFAN New Member

    I am so sorry NOLA:why:

  11. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Sending supportive and very understanding thoughts and hugs. It is just so impossible to ride this rollercoaster for a long period. DDD
  12. NOLA

    NOLA New Member

    Thanks for those HUGS - I needed them :) Just wanted to vent a quick update - husband had the conversation with-him last night when he came home (I went to bed) - difficult child says he decided not to take the cid, wanted & planned to but ultimately managed to resist the temptation.

    As luck would have it, the OTC drug tests do not have a screen for LSD or acid so that was a bust. Also, husband reports that he was completely sober & did not appear to have taken anything at all. Does husband believe him? Absolutely - Do I? Would like to but....

    Called the PO this am - she's on maternity leave so I talked to her replacement - I didn't think it could get worse but let's just say we need to just forget about those allies in our efforts to save him from himself.

    I spoke with him before he went to work this evening & he sang the 'I did what I was supposed to do' song; offered to take any tests we could find that shows cid; showed me his money, etc. Said he knows he can't do this alone, wants our help, wants to go to support meetings, etc., but still is saying we don't understand how things really are out there --- EVERYONE is either drunk or high " he thinks the only way to get through this is to learn how to say no while with his friends because even if he finds a new group of friends the drugs & drink are surrounding them all.

    So the rollercoaster ride continues…Happy Mardi Gras!
  13. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Acid is hard to detect. Sadly, if he's taken a lot in the past, it is very possible to maintain and hold coherent conversations while on it, so just talking to him doesn't help. Dilation of the pupils is probably the best test and then only if checked within a few hours of taking it.

    He's semi-right. Many kids are high today. Not all and it takes some effort to find those that don't use something. Usually those that don't have very definite goals and are working to achieve them. Something tells me those kids aren't going to want to hang with a drop out who is on probation. He might have some luck with church youth groups and kids into athletics. Obviously, it is up to him to make the effort.

    I hope he was telling the truth and did ultimately so no. I can certainly understand your doubts. Who knows? He might surprise you yet but he's going to shoot himself in the foot if he doesn't work to find new friends who aren't using and abusing.

    I can only image your pain in all of this. HUGS
  14. PonyGirl

    PonyGirl Warrior Parent

    Really sorry to hear the day didn't go better.
    What a drag. This is about the same experience I have had with folks 'in the system'. Was hoping yours would be different. But so you know, again, you're not alone!

  15. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    Ditto to Mikey! been there done that too!