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Why did I answer his call?
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<blockquote data-quote="Tiredof33" data-source="post: 630703" data-attributes="member: 13558"><p>Annie,</p><p>My difficult child turned 36 two days ago, he was really difficult from birth, but the problems started when he became school age. By middle school he was skipping a lot, sneaking out the windows at night, totally out of control.</p><p></p><p>He did have a rough start and his dead beat dad made matters much worse. I had him in as many programs as I could afford, in house behavioral treatment for a month, two court ordered rehabs (one he walked away close to nine months and had to stay three more months). I drove my gifted son to get his GED and sat in the car the entire time to make sure he didn't walk way.</p><p></p><p>I let him use my guilt against me, I truly wish I could go back and change things, starting with a better choice of a father for him!</p><p></p><p>I have had counseling and I thought I was controlling my enabling, but they slowly suck you into do things for them. When I found out about his lastest (their lol) con, lies about living on the streets being hungry, I confronted him and stopped the money and he threatened suicide.</p><p></p><p>I stopped trying to find shelters, mental health clinics EVERYTHING. He was PO'd and stopped contact with me and then the entire family for over a year. She had already run off most of his friends.</p><p></p><p>I was extremely hurt and took the time to take care of me, I did not try to contact him, I'm sure he really did have it rough then because he was homeless. After a little over a year he contacted me, he had a job. Then he dropped out again and after about 3 months he told me he had moved from Florida to Denver. Now he has disappeared again for a while.</p><p></p><p>It is so very hard, we love them. I learned nothing I do to help is helping, he really just wants a check each month. Find some hobbies you enjoy, I joined the Red Hat Society and act silly once a month lol. My biggest help was joining a spiritual group where we focus on us, as really we are the only person we can control.</p><p></p><p>My difficult child has had so many chances, he is so immature, doesn't learn from his mistakes. He has reached an age where 'what you see is what you get' most don't change unless they really want to and he doesn't want to. The only person I can change is me.</p><p>(((hugs and peace)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tiredof33, post: 630703, member: 13558"] Annie, My difficult child turned 36 two days ago, he was really difficult from birth, but the problems started when he became school age. By middle school he was skipping a lot, sneaking out the windows at night, totally out of control. He did have a rough start and his dead beat dad made matters much worse. I had him in as many programs as I could afford, in house behavioral treatment for a month, two court ordered rehabs (one he walked away close to nine months and had to stay three more months). I drove my gifted son to get his GED and sat in the car the entire time to make sure he didn't walk way. I let him use my guilt against me, I truly wish I could go back and change things, starting with a better choice of a father for him! I have had counseling and I thought I was controlling my enabling, but they slowly suck you into do things for them. When I found out about his lastest (their lol) con, lies about living on the streets being hungry, I confronted him and stopped the money and he threatened suicide. I stopped trying to find shelters, mental health clinics EVERYTHING. He was PO'd and stopped contact with me and then the entire family for over a year. She had already run off most of his friends. I was extremely hurt and took the time to take care of me, I did not try to contact him, I'm sure he really did have it rough then because he was homeless. After a little over a year he contacted me, he had a job. Then he dropped out again and after about 3 months he told me he had moved from Florida to Denver. Now he has disappeared again for a while. It is so very hard, we love them. I learned nothing I do to help is helping, he really just wants a check each month. Find some hobbies you enjoy, I joined the Red Hat Society and act silly once a month lol. My biggest help was joining a spiritual group where we focus on us, as really we are the only person we can control. My difficult child has had so many chances, he is so immature, doesn't learn from his mistakes. He has reached an age where 'what you see is what you get' most don't change unless they really want to and he doesn't want to. The only person I can change is me. (((hugs and peace))) [/QUOTE]
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