Why do I.....

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Mom2oddson, Jul 23, 2008.

  1. Mom2oddson

    Mom2oddson Active Member

    ...Always feel compelled to help difficult child grow up?

    ...Want to open the door of communication even though I'll just get slimed by him?

    ...miss him so?

    ...want the best for him even though he could care less?

    ...keep remembering that little glimmer I would get of what difficult child could really be like if he could get his GFGness under control?

    It's been a month since difficult child last called to dump on us. The only communication any of us have had, was a call to his sister a couple of days ago...saying how he will NEVER have anything to do with us (husband & I) again.

    It's sad, it hurts and yet, I still want to reach out to him. Don't worry, I won't. It's just frustrating that this feeling never goes away.
  2. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Simple answer -- because you're the momma. You picked him when he was hurt. You wiped his tears. You rejoiced in his successes. Our kids may be adults but they'll always be our little boys and girls. Supposedly, we quit worrying about them when we die but I don't believe that. I think we become their guardian angels at that point. We rest when they finally rest. Not a day before.

    Love him. Hope he does well. Pray for him if you're so inclined. Dance for joy when he succeeds. Cry for him when he fails. But keep living your life without him. Hopefully, he will grow up and see what wonderful parents he has in you and husband one day.

  3. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Yep, MeowB...it's because you're a mom. But, even wild animals have to kick their young ones out of the den/nest/whatever sometime.

  4. So Tired

    So Tired Member

    Because you are a Mother. Because you have hope. Because your heart is too tender to not care. Because you want to help. Because you have compassion.

    I know it's hard -- you want to feel that connection. You want them to understand that you love and care about them. It is hard to stay strong. You keep looking for something from them that they are not able to give. Not yet. Maybe someday. Stay still. Let him follow his path.
  5. Mom2oddson

    Mom2oddson Active Member

    It is the Mom thing..... and being the "step" Mom doesn't change a thing. Guess that's why it hurts when he tells people he doesn't consider me a Mom. Or when mother in law keeps enabling the kid.

    I will love him until the day I die and then some. Maybe after death it won't hurt so much.

    My heart aches for him. He's hurting himself and is just too stubborn to admit it. But, there is nothing I can do, but pray and wait for him to hit his bottom.