Why does my adult daughter dislike me so much?

[Nomad]

It's great that you go to Al Anon meetings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Families Anonymous is also very good.
I noticed that my daughter tends to dislike me more when I call her on her stuff.
Sometimes I chose not to say anything and sometimes I chose to say something....and everything in between.
It's a hard call.
Nevertheless, this is my experience for why my particular Difficult Child tends to not like me.
As best as you can, I would take care of YOURSELF, greatly limit your interaction with her, cling to any and all very close friends or family members who have your best interest at heart.

 

[Hilli]

Hili, you used the right word when you said it's confusing. I'm enjoying the peace and quiet, the absence of drama,the decisions about what to do. On the other hand, I miss speaking to my granddaughters, hearing what they've been doing, telling them I love them I miss talking to my daughter, hearing what she's been doing. I miss them. I wish for something different, but it's not and I can't change it. How long will it be like this? I don't know. Maybe a short time, maybe forever.

That is the biggest question of all...how long will it be like this. I ask myself that as well. Is this the way it will always be or is it temporary and we'll all look back at this difficult time as a bad memory. Looking at this sight and my sons history, I fear it will always be like this.

 

[Mamacat]

That is the biggest question of all...how long will it be like this. I ask myself that as well. Is this the way it will always be or is it temporary and we'll all look back at this difficult time as a bad memory. Looking at this sight and my sons history, I fear it will always be like this.

The thought that it will always be like this is more than I can bear. I have to trust that day it will be different and ii will see my daughter and granddaughters again.

 

[BusynMember]

Your granddaughters will grow up one day. Even when they are young teens they could defy mom and run to see you. Not sure how youd feel about that. Chances are Daughters is not a great mother emotionally and they could be looking for real love in you. Teens often don't listen to Mom.

Your daughter...im guessing she wont change unless you cave in and do everything she wants you to all the time and never say no. Unless she recognizes that she needs serious help and wants to change, it is unlikely she will make the hard effort. As long as she thinks the Universe owes her everything, she wont change. The Universe will have to change for her. That is her mindset.

Even her mistakes are probably "not my fault!" If perchance she does have a personality disorder you will never e we hear a heartfelt "I'm sirry" unless it pre eeds "I want money." You also won't hear "I have problems. I know I need to change because I don't like who I am." A other absent phrase, "it's my fault." They say these things in roundabout ways only, if at all. They can't concede they are ever wrong unless they'll get money for them saying it.

But she .cant stop the clock. I used to run to my grandma all the time because she loved me and my mother scapegoated me. And my mother couldnt stop me. I wanted her love. She was always there for me. I don't think I'm the only child who ran from mom to grandma at thirteen and up.

Why not make time go faster by building a great life for yourself? Being sad all the time doesn't help anyone, especially you. Big hugs

 

[Mamacat]

Thank you for that Swot. Others have said they'll find me some day. I chose to believe that. I am moving on. If she ever contacts me, it's going to be a different story. I doubt sincerely if I will believe her lies and manipulation again. Thanks to this forum and books I've read I'm a little wiser. Hubby and I are planning trips and having fun. Life is good for me. I have times of sadness, but they're getting shorter all the time. Thanks to all of you for everything.

 

[BusynMember]

You go, girl!!

 

[Tammy Byrd]

I could write a book! It started when she got hormonal! I have defended her to a fault!
Prayed she would find a good man and have a good life. It gets worse through the years.
Before her wedding we went and she got eyelashes put on was bridzilla! Took her to eat all of the sudden she snaps on me told me get someone to come get you??? I helped buy her car she worked for me... Called my husband and said can you come get me she's leaving me. He was at work said bite your tongue and ride with her almost had to beg. She drove so fast thought we was going to wreck! We pull up at my house I open the door to get out she floors it the door hit me and we had a pile of dirt I flew into it! Laying on the ground she rolls down the window and calls me a mother...
In October 2015in a bad accident my knee shattered she didn't ever take me to the dr although wouldn't ride with her! My friends and husband took me. Her house flooded during this time we let them stay in the man cave for months. She had a reveal when they were done and my husband asked her to make a way so I could go was in a wheelchair. She said I can't! I wasn't going anyway. My husband wants peace but he knows with her it's impossible. I could write a book. I'm removing myself from her because it drives me crazy! I've always been there for her! I'll never find peace with her.