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Substance Abuse
Why is it so hard?
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<blockquote data-quote="BloodiedButUnbowed" data-source="post: 725325" data-attributes="member: 13303"><p>If you are aware that you are enabling him, then the most loving thing you could possibly do is detach with love. Set him free and allow him to experience the full consequences of his actions - both positive and negative. Doing the right things bring good consequences, doing the wrong things will result in bad consequences.</p><p></p><p>As you can see, he is 33 and not functioning. Not to say that this is your fault, but you seem to know in your heart that your love and support isn't helping him.</p><p></p><p>He probably needs (beyond his medications) a structured group home setting where he can learn how to live independently. Maybe at some point in the future he will be able to take care of himself on his own.</p><p></p><p>Al Anon is a wonderful free resource that helps families detach with love from their problematic children. Some children are addicted to alcohol or drugs, others are not. It has helped me immensely and I do not have chemical addiction in my family profile, just garden variety codependency LOL!</p><p></p><p>Does he have an open file with the department of rehabilitative services? Does he have a caseworker? Is he receiving public assistance of any sort such as disability? All of these are resources that can help him get on his feet.</p><p></p><p>It might be time to lock the door to his childhood home and force him to grow into manhood.</p><p></p><p>Much love, this is not easy.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BloodiedButUnbowed, post: 725325, member: 13303"] If you are aware that you are enabling him, then the most loving thing you could possibly do is detach with love. Set him free and allow him to experience the full consequences of his actions - both positive and negative. Doing the right things bring good consequences, doing the wrong things will result in bad consequences. As you can see, he is 33 and not functioning. Not to say that this is your fault, but you seem to know in your heart that your love and support isn't helping him. He probably needs (beyond his medications) a structured group home setting where he can learn how to live independently. Maybe at some point in the future he will be able to take care of himself on his own. Al Anon is a wonderful free resource that helps families detach with love from their problematic children. Some children are addicted to alcohol or drugs, others are not. It has helped me immensely and I do not have chemical addiction in my family profile, just garden variety codependency LOL! Does he have an open file with the department of rehabilitative services? Does he have a caseworker? Is he receiving public assistance of any sort such as disability? All of these are resources that can help him get on his feet. It might be time to lock the door to his childhood home and force him to grow into manhood. Much love, this is not easy. [/QUOTE]
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