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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 632624" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I felt guilty for a long time, GuideMe. It wasa my idea to adopt an older male child of color because they have the hardest time getting homes. Now this has nothing to do with adoption or people of color. My oldest daughter is Korean and my two youngest are African-American so I'm just telling you why this eleven year old was adopted. We loved him as he acted like an angel around all adults and had never been caught doing anything wrong. His foster family of five years, before us, loved him but were too old to adopt (70s). They didn't realize he was perping on the kids that the wife took in for daycare, which he admitted in the prison/hospital. I don't think they ever did believe it. It was too horrific for them.</p><p></p><p>Since it was my idea to adopt an older child, I took the blame and needed a lot of therapy for it. My two younger kids saw us kick him out, saw us make him tell them it was HIS fault and at least can't think we were oblivious to him or that we condoned it or didn't believe them like so many abused children have experienced. So far, like I said, they are both experiencing good mental health and we do talk about this from time to time. We just had the good fortune that the child got so scared was so scared for his own skin once he was caught that he admitted it and that social services was so sympathetic to the children that they got the best of care, from a special pediatrician who treats young sexually abused children to wonderful psychologists. </p><p></p><p>But that was the lowest point of my entire life.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 632624, member: 1550"] I felt guilty for a long time, GuideMe. It wasa my idea to adopt an older male child of color because they have the hardest time getting homes. Now this has nothing to do with adoption or people of color. My oldest daughter is Korean and my two youngest are African-American so I'm just telling you why this eleven year old was adopted. We loved him as he acted like an angel around all adults and had never been caught doing anything wrong. His foster family of five years, before us, loved him but were too old to adopt (70s). They didn't realize he was perping on the kids that the wife took in for daycare, which he admitted in the prison/hospital. I don't think they ever did believe it. It was too horrific for them. Since it was my idea to adopt an older child, I took the blame and needed a lot of therapy for it. My two younger kids saw us kick him out, saw us make him tell them it was HIS fault and at least can't think we were oblivious to him or that we condoned it or didn't believe them like so many abused children have experienced. So far, like I said, they are both experiencing good mental health and we do talk about this from time to time. We just had the good fortune that the child got so scared was so scared for his own skin once he was caught that he admitted it and that social services was so sympathetic to the children that they got the best of care, from a special pediatrician who treats young sexually abused children to wonderful psychologists. But that was the lowest point of my entire life. [/QUOTE]
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