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General Parenting
Wife And Mother In Law Gave Him Money
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<blockquote data-quote="BloodiedButUnbowed" data-source="post: 711395" data-attributes="member: 13303"><p>Thanks for the feedback. There is a lot of significant backstory; there have been countless hours of therapy for every family member over the last few years. It is a highly dysfunctional situation. It's probably not ever going to get much better than it is right now barring divine intervention.</p><p></p><p>He doesn't live with us so to an extent, I am only as involved as I choose to be. My wife is a distant parent and has been from the beginning of Difficult Stepson's life. I don't really need to be involved. My wife wants me to be involved, but I can easily request that my wife handle her son however she sees fit and not to discuss it with me, if it is upsetting to me. That is something I need to figure out and where I am focusing my attention at the moment.</p><p></p><p>Where I would have serious problems is if she began throwing a significant amount of money at him, an amount that would impact our budget. As he gets older this is a big concern for me.</p><p></p><p>My wife does not take criticism, even perceived criticism, well and is a "my way or the highway" type of person. She and I have done a lot of work on our marriage so that she isn't that way with me so much anymore but she is very protective of her kids. And as the stepparent, to an extent, I feel I need to respect that, but I will draw the line at tolerating violence and participating in enabling the children's bad behavior......that much I already know.</p><p></p><p>I hope it doesn't come down to me needing to leave the household. It might, though.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BloodiedButUnbowed, post: 711395, member: 13303"] Thanks for the feedback. There is a lot of significant backstory; there have been countless hours of therapy for every family member over the last few years. It is a highly dysfunctional situation. It's probably not ever going to get much better than it is right now barring divine intervention. He doesn't live with us so to an extent, I am only as involved as I choose to be. My wife is a distant parent and has been from the beginning of Difficult Stepson's life. I don't really need to be involved. My wife wants me to be involved, but I can easily request that my wife handle her son however she sees fit and not to discuss it with me, if it is upsetting to me. That is something I need to figure out and where I am focusing my attention at the moment. Where I would have serious problems is if she began throwing a significant amount of money at him, an amount that would impact our budget. As he gets older this is a big concern for me. My wife does not take criticism, even perceived criticism, well and is a "my way or the highway" type of person. She and I have done a lot of work on our marriage so that she isn't that way with me so much anymore but she is very protective of her kids. And as the stepparent, to an extent, I feel I need to respect that, but I will draw the line at tolerating violence and participating in enabling the children's bad behavior......that much I already know. I hope it doesn't come down to me needing to leave the household. It might, though. [/QUOTE]
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