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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 659077" data-attributes="member: 4152"><p>N l j....I'm so very sorry. This is a no win situation if there ever was one. It is hurtful, mean and one could say thoughtless...but like you said, there very well could have been thought put into it and it isn't nice. She could think you are visiting her because you want her money, and at least your brother is "honest." And if you stop visiting her, then she could say "see, I was right!" She is likely paranoid, possibly narcissistic, suffering from low self Steem, jealous...etc. My father was similar and it was disturbing, draining and painful.</p><p></p><p>I'm not sure what the answer is, expect maybe to REALLY LIMIT your association with her to the bare minimum that you feel is ok as a daughter caring for an elderly mother. And if you don't want to see her at all, so be it. If she is unkind to you when you visit, that is very likely the way to go!!!!!!! Do what you think is best...do not hesitate to do what is best for you.</p><p></p><p>Maybe your brother will help you with any major life expenses like college for a child or large medical bills, if the will ends up staying as it is. I wouldn't count on anything at all. This is likely one of those "it is what it is" situations and it sounds very painful. I'm so sorry.</p><p></p><p>I wouldn't count on anything with reference to the will, future money, any future kindnesses.</p><p></p><p>I would pray for guidance....my apologies if this sounds corny or trite. I had a similar situation and I let it go entirely and to my shock and deep gratitude, things changed at the very end and went well for me.</p><p>I didn't plan on it, nor count on it. I consider it a miracle.</p><p></p><p>Bottom line though, I spent many many many years learning to let go of my father's peculiar and often mean spirited abusive, disturbing ways. Letting go is the healthiest way out, in my humble opinion. Be strong.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 659077, member: 4152"] N l j....I'm so very sorry. This is a no win situation if there ever was one. It is hurtful, mean and one could say thoughtless...but like you said, there very well could have been thought put into it and it isn't nice. She could think you are visiting her because you want her money, and at least your brother is "honest." And if you stop visiting her, then she could say "see, I was right!" She is likely paranoid, possibly narcissistic, suffering from low self Steem, jealous...etc. My father was similar and it was disturbing, draining and painful. I'm not sure what the answer is, expect maybe to REALLY LIMIT your association with her to the bare minimum that you feel is ok as a daughter caring for an elderly mother. And if you don't want to see her at all, so be it. If she is unkind to you when you visit, that is very likely the way to go!!!!!!! Do what you think is best...do not hesitate to do what is best for you. Maybe your brother will help you with any major life expenses like college for a child or large medical bills, if the will ends up staying as it is. I wouldn't count on anything at all. This is likely one of those "it is what it is" situations and it sounds very painful. I'm so sorry. I wouldn't count on anything with reference to the will, future money, any future kindnesses. I would pray for guidance....my apologies if this sounds corny or trite. I had a similar situation and I let it go entirely and to my shock and deep gratitude, things changed at the very end and went well for me. I didn't plan on it, nor count on it. I consider it a miracle. Bottom line though, I spent many many many years learning to let go of my father's peculiar and often mean spirited abusive, disturbing ways. Letting go is the healthiest way out, in my humble opinion. Be strong. [/QUOTE]
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