Wisconsin Dells Waterpark trip....????

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Kjs, Dec 31, 2008.

  1. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    Ok. I was SOOOOOO upset, as well as difficult child.

    difficult child has a very special FRIEND. Only friend. It is a girl. She is a difficult child as well, in group therapy for anger management. Mother is older, daughter was adopted. My difficult child helped them move out secretly last summer due to an abusive father. father went to work, and all gathered and moved.

    Her mother likes difficult child. There are times when girl would be doing drugs, and difficult child will not speak to her. He is so totally against that. Girl was caught a few months ago, and vowed to stop. Bad weed and became very sick.

    OK. several months ago difficult child wanted to go to this waterpark (huge and fun) Only this year they added on an indoor amusement park, which opened mid December. 6 story ferris wheel, indoor go karts, lazer tag, mini golf, bowling, and this extremely hard and very high rope walk obstacle course. three levels, they wear a harness. top level about 60 feet in the air.

    So, due to past experience when difficult child would ask friends, the last minute they would back out. Leaving difficult child scrambling for anyone to go. Usually finding someone, but not really someone he wanted.

    THIS time, I spoke to girls mother. Three months ago. Explained the park, hotel. Told her seperate rooms. Told her to think about it but to let me know in a few days. Told her in the past people have backed out at the last minute, and this place is a few hundred dollars EACH night.

    Mom said, "on, I would never do that". She called and said yes. I made the reservations. Spoke to her about once a month. Last Friday she called just to verify last minute details. (we were leaving on Sunday at noon)

    The next day, at 11:15 she called me at work. Now mind you we were leaving in 24 hours. She said, "Girl is not comfortable going, and frankly neither am I !!!!!!" I was speechless. I told her I verified with her prior to making these reservations and again several times including the previous day. I asked if the girl would feel more comfortable asking someone else to come with also. I heard her ask and answer was no. I was totally speechless. over $400 and she says no. (part of difficult child's birthday gift)
    By the end of our conversation, which I was pretty much silent..with anger. She said, "Well....I suppose as it stands now, she can go"

    difficult child was devastated to say the least. Girl was texting difficult child saying she never said she was uncomfortable, difficult child is her best friend. (no "liking" on either side. Just friends) For several years.

    With her mothers comment, "as it stands now she will go" leaves me skeptical that the next day when it comes time to go she will say no.
    So, difficult child goes to neighbors house. (they have a daughter same age as difficult child and a boy two years younger) We have lived next door since the kids were born. difficult child loves them and often talks to them when he is upset with me. However, last May, the mother said some very mean and cruel things to me. Not knowing even what she was talking about and I have not spoken to her since.
    difficult child asked the mom and dad (dad I do speak to) The kids wanted to go. Mom works in a school office so she is also off on break. They had plans to go skiing with another family. They said yes. Mom said she would like to go and they would change their ski date. She would drive since she has a van.
    husband called other girls mother and told her that since she is feeling uncomfortable, it is OUR decision NOT difficult child's for her not to go. Mother puts the girl on the phone and husband repeats the same thing. She says, but I am comfortable. husband just said this is our decision and not difficult child's. Maybe another time.
    The girl texts difficult child and says she is so sorry, she knows it is all her fault.

    OK. We go. That afternoon this girl texts him and asks if he wants to hang out. He replies he is at the Dells. NOW she is SO SO angry with him she won't speak to him. ????? She said difficult child ditched her. ????

    I didn't want to take the chance of them saying no an hour before we left. 24 hours before we left was bad enough. I told difficult child I do not want him even speaking to her for a while after what they did. difficult child is upset because he says this is his best friend. (although if she does drugs, or things he will not speak to her for months at a time, until she stops)

    We had a blast. SO much fun. Except difficult child not feeling well much of the time. He did everything anyway. Now need everyones advice on that issue. Another post in general.

    So, were we wrong for what we did?
  2. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    I am pretty sure your decision to not take her was the right thing to do.
    Now telling difficult child when to talk or not talk to his friend is probably too much involvement from where I sit. You and husband made a choice and you stuck with it.
    Let difficult child deal with his friend.
  3. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    This is an important lesson for bff to learn: you don't play mind games with your friends. Maybe she will learn to respect difficult child's feelings in the future... after she cools off. I'm glad you had fun.
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I agree with your decision not to bring her, but I don't think you should tell him not to talk to her. He's 14 and is going to talk to her if he wants to anyway, in my opinion. I would have just left it at not bringing her. When we get overinvolved, things tend to get worse for our kids, some who have few friends anyway. JMO