Wish I could give up

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TeDo, Apr 8, 2013.

  1. TeDo

    TeDo CD Hall of Fame

    I give up. I am so completely done with all this BS. I wish I really could be done with it all but I know what will happen. difficult child 2 is being a royal pain in the backside, doing things (making noises, being distracting, etc.) that irritate difficult child 1 and I. And when we call attention to is and ask him to stop, he ramps it up instead or substitutes something even MORE annoying. He just does not seem to care. EVERY time I've tried to do CPS with him, he says "I don't know" so then I tell him how it "appears" to me (and I emphasize to him that it's only my interpretation and to please correct me) to get himn thinking. It doesn't. All it does is makes him angry that I even think what I'm thinking. CPS does NOT work with difficult child 2, no matter how hard I try. I've told him that if he keeps this behavior up, he's going back to public school. I don't deserve any of this and am losing patience with it and good luck getting the teachers there to allow even a fraction of the **** he does here. He's worse when we're working on school work.

    Then today, difficult child 1 is up to his old stuff that I haven't seen in a looooong time. There are only 4 subjects to work on today for school. One was to watch a couple short videos, done. Another was to read 4 pages and answer 3 questions, done. He watches the math class lesson while I'm taking notes for him. He's supposed to do about 20 practice problems. He says "I'm not doing those." I said "fine, we can do the 7 they have on here in the lesson." He does the first 5, then his voice gets that REALLY bored, dragged-out tone that tells me he's going (losing interest) so I stop. He has an 8 problem quiz for this lesson. He takes one look at the word "Quiz" at the top of the page and freaks out because it's a QUIZ. OMG, you'd think it was a final exam or something. We take a break for lunch, done. We switch subjects. We watch 3 short videos and read 6 pages, done. Then it comes time to work on a report that I wanted to peck away at over last week's spring break but noooo, it was spring BREAK. He gets his paper out and starts yelling at me that he wrote something for the first question already but that I erased it. I looked at it and it was transfer pencil from when he did the back of the first page before the front so that when he did the front, what he'd written on the back left marks on the second page. I explained that to him but his mind was made up and it only escalated from there.

    I am getting so tired of dealing with this s*** all the time. They think what little they are expected to do is sooooo hard and tooooo much. If I didn't already know what would happen, they'd both be back in public school in a heart-beat without me backing them up or fighting for them. Been there, done that, and refuse to fight that again. This online program is the best thing that's happened for both of them and they are soooooooo blind to not see it. But then again, no matter how green the grass is, it's always greener on the other side.

    Thanks for letting me vent. I'm not really looking for suggestions or anything. I just needed to vent to people that understand.
  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    :hugs: and, boy, do we.
  3. Jamieh

    Jamieh New Member

  4. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

  5. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    More hugs... but what is CPS - as in the technique you were using with difficult child? Ususally CPS means Child Protective Sevices... so I was curious how you meant it. KSM
  6. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    I'm guessing... collaborative problem solving... (the explosive child)
  7. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

  8. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    I totally get it. Sorry it's been a hard day.
  9. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Well hon, I say we meet up at the difficult child mom retirement home and go to the casino. We've done our fair share. I'm ready for one of those bus tours my great aunts took, I'm serious....they seem interesting and fun. I wish early difficult child mom retirement could be an option....
  10. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    I will charter the bus and whip up the first batch of frosty beverages. The only rule........ NO KID TALK......none........nyet.
  11. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Hugs. I am right there with all of you. My bags are packed. difficult child didn't go to school today, but I didn't even fight with her, or get myself worked up abut it. She is 16. If she wants to mess this up, it is on her. I am finally learning. (I think.)
  12. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Whoa stressed! Awesome. Ok, I'm going to get tedo, all mn folks are welcome to come to my house and the charter bus can pick us up!
  13. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member


    And... I want in on that trip:)
  14. frustr8d

    frustr8d New Member

    I am so wanting to give up. I have changed careers to care for my difficult child, going from a high level manager in a tech company to a teacher so I could be home when my difficult child was home. Now, he tells me that I'm a F*** psycho B*** and he wants to live with his dad (who didn't want him in the first place). Of course, dad's house is "Disneyland" because he sees his child so infrequently, that our difficult child thinks it will be like that all the time. He's bright but won't do his homework, and is about to flunk out of a great school for him (small HS with lots of academic rigor) because difficult child "can't see the point of doing HW if he gets good grades on the tests" (which is now not happening because he's not doing the work). Anyway, the name calling really hurt, and I'm to the point where I truly just don't care. It hurts to much.
  15. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Hi, Frustr8d-

    Welcome to the board.

    You might want to copy your bio down to a signature - so that most of us can see what your situation is. I opened your profile and read it there.

    He's on the spectrum? What is he getting for accommodations and interventions? What has he had in the past... Occupational Therapist (OT)? Speech Language Pathologist (SLP)? other things that helped?

    Aspie/Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids are complex, and the umbrella diagnosis doesn't really tell the whole story. Intellegence alone isn't a good measure of capability either. HS can be really tough for someone on the spectrum, especially because their peers have become more sophisticated. Bullying can ramp up - and you may not know about it.

    Can you tell us more?
    Maybe start your own thread and introduce us to your difficult child.
  16. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Sooo familiar!
    We don't do a whole lot of collaborative problem solving because difficult child either gets too confused, or takes too long, or changes the subject. I have to lay it out of him clearly like a multiple choice Q & A.
    Occasionally he can solve things randomly, in real life, such as an appliance problem or directions in the car, and then I try to highly reward him.
  17. barneysmom

    barneysmom Member

    ((((TeDo)))))) hugs

    I wish I could give up too.

  18. IT1967

    IT1967 Member

    I give you a lot of credit for homeschooling. I simply couldn't handle it. My 2 difficult child's will frequently do things to irritate the other. I realize to a certain extent that even easy child kids do that, but, yeah, I know how that goes. I also have cut back significantly on my career. I'm working part-time a tiny bit, but can't work much more than that with-the obligations and all the other stuff with-the kids. I'm grateful that I can afford to cut back, but there's a trade-off in anything.