I wish it wasn't so difficult to send difficult child to respite each month. We do so need the break but to go. I feel so bad because he hates to go. He gets so upset, says he isn't going to go, begs us not to send him, tells us he hates our family, gets pushy, swears, and eventually cries. It always sounds like he ends up having a good time. Still, he says he feels uncomfortable going to someone's house (I understand). We try to make it positive for him but he just wants to be at home. Today, when we got in the van to go, he was talking to himself and said, don't think of your parents when you are at respite. When I asked him why he said because than you get upset and cry. It about broke my heart. Makes me feel guilty needing the break but I know we do.