Wish me luck (re: psycho neighbour situation)

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Mattsmom277, Jul 10, 2009.

  1. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    Will explain more lately. I am leaving shortly to attend the crisis intervention unit to get assistance having psycho violent neighbour committed to the psychiatric hospital. I have all my ducks in a row and 9 of 11 homes on my block have statements I have to provide to the staff at the hospital. It will take a while to tell them all the details (OMG you will not believe whats been going on about my street with this guy for 4 years leading to hisattack on my S/O!!!).

    End result should be that within a hour or two of me returning home, a team of police men and a ambulance should arrive and take him forcibly if needed to the psychiatric hospital. Previously in this instance they were forced to smash his steel door in!

    Regardless, I think this it and I'm going to have a TON of personal satisfaction that I'm the one to finally save myself, S/O, the kids and our neighbours all up the block, from this guys madness. I truly thought I couldn't be more shocked to learn more things, but I sit here just stunned!

    Will update later tonight. Wish me luck!!!! I don't expect problems though.


    *boy will i sleep good tonight if i know he is safe in hands of a psychiatric ward getting help and can't hurt us or anybody else!!!!
  2. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Fingers, toes, arms, legs and eyes crossed!!! (I'd cross my ears too if I could! LOL)

    We'll all be with you in spirit!!! :warrior:

    Good luck and let us know what happens!!!!
  3. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Fingers crossed. DDD
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Wishing and praying that they commit this guy! Stay safe!
  5. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I can hardly wait to hear the details of this! Don't forget a bit of it when you tell us what happens!
  6. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Prayers said that thing work out well.
  7. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Hope it goes as planned. Update when you can!
  8. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Saying prayers it went smoothly.
  9. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Let us know everything when you can!!!
  10. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Stay strong and be safe! Prayers going out.
  11. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Hope it went as planned!
  12. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Here's hoping all went well. He sounds like a very sick and dangerous man. I hope you and your family are safe now.
  13. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    Hi everyone. Whew it is late and I'm up for nearly 48 hours, so i'm off to sleep in a minute.

    Okay so off i went with S/O and my superintendent. I went to the local hospital to the crisis intervention team (psychiatric team). A near 3 hour talk later, we FINALLY have a mental health professional who is freaking out as much as us. She literally said that he is going to KILL someone. She was tearful at the end. A human??? At last!!!!

    She noted ALL in his chart. I'll post tomorrow after a long rest what all new stuff we know (and this woman knows). She then told us how we are going to get him in hospital.

    Turns out we have a lovely law that we were unaware of. A doctor could do a Form 2 it is called, to direct police to take him to psychiatric ward for inital 3-4 day evaluation. But of course that idiot turns a blind eye. Well the lovely law??? I CAN FORM 2 HIM!!! And this woman assists many people doing so themselves and people she tells to do this get it done with not a fraction of the cause that we have!!! So she knows we will get it.

    Court house is closed until Monday. On Monday morning I am to attend the court house to see a justice of the peace with all this down in written form. I fill in a Form 2 request and explain to justice what is happening and the crisis intervention feels this man can kill someone and we will have the order to bring to police to enforce by mid day Monday.

    This woman is a GOD SEND!!!!! She even hugged me as we left and said to be safe and not let legal process get me down, that this is all documented in the hospital computer system (which is shared by the psychiatric hospital) including his entire history with the hospital that we can't be told about but very much exists for the hospital staff to realize how violent this guy has been over "a lifetime" (thats HER words, so she was tongue in cheek leaking to me the fact that this guy is a lifetime in and out of psychiatric wards patient). Helps my case!!!

    So we then went to the police station. the one nice cop we had last week, who accepted responsability for mess up that first night with S/O, well he was on duty again tonight. He was dead serious to help from the second we got there. Suddenly to protect themselves from S/O taking action, they are our bestest friends and we have assurance of full support. This cop called the crisis intervention woman and they spoke. FINALLY police and mental health WORKING TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!

    We all came home. Within AN HOUR this cop showed here. 4 cops, 2 cars. A "safety check" they told the psycho. He played it cool. They expected that. They are going to KEEP safety checking him every SEVERAL HOURS all weekend!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Safety checking means even if he doesn't open the door, they kick it in to ensure he's stable inside. One sight of alcohol and falling around, oops. He is a danger to himself. Instant psychiatric ward trip in cuffs!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!

    So we aren't there yet completely. But we have a TEAM NOW. :) :) :) :)

    The officer called back after safety check. Told me exactly what was said to psycho. He said it was obvious "he isn't right in the head" but did not behave violently and for a rare occurance , was not falling down drunk. The guy said beer is everywhere though, so he'll be picking it up to drink. He never has gone more than one full day without drinking since he lived here. He does NOT know they are going to keep coming back over and over and over. We can call for ANYTHING and they will come and check him again. They said everything that makes me jump a bit, CALL THE POLICE and they will be here. They will not treat it as nuisance calls. Its more THEY want to be this psycho's personal nuisance!!!! WOOT WOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    So I'm relieved. He will be going. They also said he needs long term hospitalization because he will only move somewhere else in town and do this to others and shifting the problem isn't the solution, he is a danger to our "ENTIRE COMMUNITY" to quote both the crisis woman and the officer.

    :) :) :) So we are vigilant as we've been. But his days are numbered and we have the right people working FOR US now.

    Im' feeling very kinda giddy. Sort of like I'm doing something to avenge S/O's attack too, sick maybe but even knowing he must be in a RAGE right now knowing we are getting him psychiatric checked by the police etc feels PRETTY DARN GOOD!! His sick game he's played with our lives? He suddenly isn't in control of it anymore and its a good feeling to know he knows it.

    I'll fill in some really wacked out stuff we discovered yesterday and today. I'll try to post it tomorrow. It seems to never end. Our neighbours are breaking their silence due to fear, and are talking and OMG. Some stuff we are all learning !!! This guy is worse than any of us thought even after this attack etc. I may even sleep well tonight even though we're not clear of him quite yet. But its all snowballing and moving finally where it needs to go.

    All in all, the best I've felt in over 2 weeks.

    Thank you all for your good thoughts!!!! They worked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  14. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    But speaking from experience, watch every move you make. I hope you have a big inside dog to warn you anyone is near. Keep an eagle eye on the kids at all times.

    You know this man already has issues thinking he wants to be with you. You would not believe how his mind can twist this scenerio.

    My mother was the most lethal at night. I woke up twice from a sound sleep being smothered with a pillow. (lucky for me I'm stronger than her) Now as an adult if someone dares tip toe or attempts to sneak around me when I'm sleeping I'm instantly awake. A weird sort of 6th sense thing. It's freaked out husband and the kids many times over the years.

    I understand your feeling of triumph, but I most certainly don't want you to let your guard down, not for a second. The cops may be on your side now, but it takes time for them to get there. And even just 5 mins can seem like 5 yrs under the wrong circumstances.

    I am soooo glad you now have a team on board with this man. I just wish to heck and back they didn't have to wait until monday.

    You'll be in my prayers. And please, please be careful.

  15. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am very glad that you have contacted the right people and will be safe soon.

    I am going to say this next in all caps and big bold letters.


    ok. Done yelling. The time when an abused woman is leaving a violent man is teh most dangerous because he knows or senses he is losing her. This man is incredibly dangerous. If he thinks he is going to "lose" you then he may do all kinds of scary and dangerous things.

    5 minutes is an eternity if he goes on a shooting spree. Or even just tries to break in. Don't leave the phone in the cradle. If you have a cordless phone it should be in your pocket or in a pocket made for it with a cut off sleeve with cord or ribbon or a lanyard sewn onto it. Have it on your person so you can call for help at any time. Train the kids to run to your room (assuming there is a lock on your door) and lock them in. PUT a lock on the door if there isn't one. At the very least put a hook and eye latch on the inside. Down where the kids can reach it. Make it so they practice running into teh room and locking it. This is what they should do if the man comes over. If possible, have a phone plugged in there that they can call 911 with. Write "Emergency - call 911" and post it near the phone and on the back of the door in case they get rattled and forget - common in situations like this. The back of the door is because people often grab the phone and turn toward the source of the threat - in this case the doorway where he would come through. If it is there they can't miss it. (I am assuming that you use 911 for emergencies the way we do.)

    Please let us know tomorrow what the rest of the story is. I wonder if the doctor refused to call and Form 2 this guy because he did it once in the past and the guy came after him or his family. Or the guy threatened him if he ever thought about it. Just a thought.

    Stay safe. I am glad there is help in sight.
  16. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Oh, I'm so relieved for your family AND the community!!! Prayers that he is locked away for a long time! :D
  17. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    I'm glad you are finally getting somewhere with this cookoo.

    Why didn't the other neighbors clue you in to what was going, before now? That's kind of strange. They sure would have felt horrendous if something worse had happened.

    I know it's kind of catch 22; you are glad that they are all cooperating and helping you'd get the guy out of there, but aren't you a little angry that they never said anything before now?
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2009
  18. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    To echo Daisylover...Amen! Amen, Amen, AMEN!!! And to echo Susie....stay vigilant!!!! It's only 2 more days but still....stay safe!!!

    That's so....so....there aren't words to describe it. Wonderful, awesome, incredible.....all of those things and then some! It still kind of hoovers that you have to wait but I'm SO glad and SO relieved that you FINALLY have a team now and people who understand.

    You mentioned the neighbors. Maybe THEY can go to the jugde also and do their OWN Form 2's. It may not extend the initial hold in the hospital but it may very well emphasize the twisted depths of this man's problems and the danger he presents.

    Also, just a thought.....I don't know the process but if people are sent immediately to pick this guy up after you see the judge....I wouldn't go home before it happened. I'm sure you want to see it happen (and I would too) but I would stay a safe distance away just in case something goes wrong. Is there anywhere in the area where you could park but would be able to drive away immediately if need be? Of course.....maybe he'll get drunk before then and you won't have to worry about it. If he does though....keep an eye out and BE CAREFUL!!!!

    To sum it all up: I'm happy, happy, happy you are making progress :dance: but don't let you guard down just yet! :stalker:
  19. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    Hi again everyone. I completely understand how vigilant we have to be. That part does indeed hoover. I want this DONE but I know it is coming so we can hang in there a couple of days. We're doing all we've done to be inside and whatnot as we've done for 2 weeks now.

    No big dog, sadly no dog at all anymore :( :( But we've got a few things in place inside that make us feel better. Happy fact too is that all 3 bedrooms have locks inside the doors. easy child is still across the country, happy with her father and step mom on vacation and clueless to the drama playing out in her home. She's 10. I plan to keep it this way for her. difficult child is aware of most stuff, kind of hard with him at 16 to not answer his questions. He's a smart kid and listens and knows why we tell him stuff about what to do if XXX happens etc. We have a non cordless phone now installed in our bedroom. It is most likely place any or all of us would end up in the house. We have a cordless phone in the living room but can keep the phone with us and have. Funny, I am in that habit anyhow. I keep it on me always and charge it at night as normal habit. A good habit it turns out!! I have loaded my pre paid cell phone that I never really use, with minutes for difficult child to put into his pocket. He's been told not to use the minutes unless calling for help.

    I do not plan to be in the building when the police come to pick him up once we get the Form 2 filed. My superintendent lives across the street from me. We will be locking the house and stay there with her until its taken care of. We can see from her patio doors anyhow but nobody can see IN. Its not here, but its close enough to see whats going on.

    About the neighbours. I've ranted a few times to S/O about how people all knew bits of the puzzle of this guy and never talked before all of this. But then I realized, heck, WE were in the same position. We had insight that others didn't, but it didn't seem relevant without the OTHER pieces that the rest of the street had. If that makes sense. When we all get to talking, you can see the stunned looks on all of our faces when we once again realize without even knowing there WAS more, there comes more!! It's strange. During conversation we'll be telling each other something we were told by him and then another will chime up and say uhhhh, that didn't happen that way at all! And they'd tell us what really happened or something and once again, we are all stunned at how we've let this man lurk in our small block all this time and never figured this out before!!!! I think all of us had our moments we doubt our own intelligence in terms of this guy.

    I feel badly for my superintendent. She facebook messaged me this morning and she is about to quit (once this is all over). She was crying as she typed to me and told me the owner can't pay her enough to feel that if something happens to anyone she is responsable because she rented to him, because she thinks if she didn't something different she could have had him out of her already. I've tried to reassure her, but she told me it is taking its toll on her mentally and I can see how it would do just that, heck we are living it and we are having it take a definite toll. I hope she knows how valued she is and appreciated. I have told her but she's so wound up trying to get him out and worrying about everyone, that I don't know she believes it. I hope she does remain the superintendent after all of this. She's one of the good ones!!!
  20. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    ((HUGS)) I'm glad to hear something is being done before it turned tragic.