wish me luck!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jena, Jun 9, 2011.

  1. Jena

    Jena New Member


    i finally have the big iep mtg. today for difficult child. i'm on 3 hours of sleep she was manic last night, we tried the elavil she went manic on it.

    so, i prepared all day yesterday, her therapist can't go so it's just me and husband just called saying how he is on his way home. didn't ask him to go yet he's coming.

    i figured i'd open with 24 hours a day in the life ofa bipolar child to personalize it. than i have my goals, provisions, etc.

    let's hope i make this happen today! heading into a very cold shower to wake up. it's been years in the making to get to today literally. first fighting tooth and nail for years for the 504 now this.

    oh, guess what they did do school testing and found some learning issues. i was shocked in math and reading. strong deficiences.

    ok update later.

    shake rattle and roll................for me :)

    have a great day everyone!
  2. ML

    ML Guest

    I am wishing you luck and sending support via prayer mail!
  3. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Good luck! You are ready!!!!
  4. keista

    keista New Member

    Good luck!!!!!!!!!!
  5. april1974

    april1974 New Member

    Good luck today
  6. Jena

    Jena New Member

    it was a disaster. i walked in and right away they said get difficult child to be in this. I said why, there's no reason for that at all. Well we think she should be part of it etc.

    I said listen she isnt' stable yet is up each night till 4 a.m. and doesn't need to sit in this mtg. and listen to everything regarding bipolar provisions etc.

    they fought me at every turn. husband jumped in a few times because he got mad and corrected them. they want me to get another pyschiatric evaluation for her in order to give me the iep or at least consider it.

    this is what they do each time they hold me off, they put me off. they reschedule, reschedule until i give up. i told them my daughter will get an iep regardless if i have to hire an attny she will get her iep as long as you all understand where the road will end here.

    so i'm way too emotional am flaring up badly from mtg. and will be contacting someone to go with me next time.
  7. ready2run

    ready2run New Member

    i always invite as many social workers as i can to the iep meetings. not only do they help to force my opinion to be heard but they also usually have something helpful to contribute to the iep itself. i've never had a therapist attend but other workers are always willing to come if they can. i don't get why they need her to be re-evaluated. she has her diagnosis, right? they shouldn't really need much else.
  8. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Jen, if this was an iep eligibility meeting, then this is standard protocol. The student might not sit in all the meeting, must must be available. At least that's the way it's always worked with my son and me. And yes, in order to get a BiPolar (BP) diagnosis documented in the sd's records, there has to be a current diagnosis from a psychiatrist and it has to either get relayed by psychiatrist in person or in writing on their letterhead. If you aren't following thru with those things then that is why the sd is not pursuing or following thru with their part. With all the school she has missed and you getting in in-home teacher, I'm not sure you have a lot of choice but to get her a current diagnosis from a psychiatrist....unless there is enough in their own testing to qualify her for an iep under a different eligibility category. BiPolar (BP) falls under "Other health impairment", I think. It's a lot easier to get the ED catagory but it's harder to get some of the accommodations with that, even though it isn't supposed to work that way.
  9. Jena

    Jena New Member

    tha'Tourette's Syndrome just it we had the current diagnosis with us, her therapist sent in a ltr. as well. he couldn't attend he flaked on me so husband felt bad and went in with me.

    i did it all they did their usual b.s. testing and returned and said we have great news shes' fine lol. just like they did in the elementary school years ago. than she wound up in two hospitals.

    so, jump thru hoops i will do through summer and continue to fight them. i should of moved out of this district when i had a chance.

    you know BiPolar (BP) kids well, she sits there and says i'm so excited can't wait to go back to school. meanwhile bk home she'll obsess, cry, fall apart, be up till 5 a.m. tonight now before i bring her in tmrw. at 7:30 they want her there. our plan was to let her get her feet wet prior to fall. we're also stating now she needs a graduated schedule in fall and wont' start full day right away.

    it just bites, they have a thick file on her, i've done all i'm supposed to and they still fight me. they do this all the time. there was a parent member there i didn't want. so next time i gotta make sure to cross her off the list. shes there and backs them. theri all idiots and yup im in a bad mood lol
  10. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Well, if you had something in writing from her treating psychaitrist that she is bipolar, what did they say specifically was their problem with it? Did they just say they wanted a second opinion or that they just don't believe it? I'f that's all they could say to not accept it, I'd be telling them then they have to pay for the second opinion. You know, you can also request an independent evaluation at their expense if you don't agree with the results from their testing.
  11. Jena

    Jena New Member

    yes they offered to pay for a new pysch evaluation at a local hospital here i refused to go to years ago for an evaluation. because i've come to learn any kid that walks out walks out with an aspergers' diagnosis. it's their speciality is autism spectrum disorders.

    i told them nicely you have enough info on difficult child. they said well we didn't get to implement her 504 in september because seh wasnt' here. I said yes well they did that in the elementary school and how did that turn out? so i told them i'll get a new evaluation from her pyschiatrist anything other than that they'll be speaking to an attny.

    i said to them she's been thru alot this year and i will nto bring her into another hospital setting for anything else this summer. she deserves a little time to just be a kid. we're giong camping in july i registered her in tennis camp i'm praying she goes to for a week.

    it can bring a tear to my eye when i see how hard it is for a bipolar person to be understood, to get what they need to succeed.

    it's just really frustrating, i knew in my heart they'd fight me. husband said no they won't, look what happened this year. I said i hope i'm wrong yet i got this district pegged and it's the game they play. yet i'll never let up they should know me already. i never get emotional yet today I don't know what was up with me, the heat was so severe, i was waiting for two hours to go into the cse mtg. my brain gets fried in the heat i start to stutter past year, etc. i didn't cry or scream or get nutty. yet i didn't present totally the way i wanted to.

    i told them honestly i'Tourette's Syndrome been a hard year, i dont' want to play this game with all of you. i've been down this road.

    i had to educate the elementary school about bipolar, and i have to do the same here. if it isnt' something they can see on the educational end thru testing than to them it doesnt' exist. just tired of the battles that's why i wanted the iep so she's golden till and thru high school with annual reviews only.

    i went in today with the excerpt of 24 hours in the day of life of a BiPolar (BP) kid and only highlighted key points so they'd get it and to add a little personalization piece.
    Last edited: Jun 9, 2011
  12. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Jen, when it comes to the sd, the important thing is to get the iep. If you don't think she has aspergers, you can take her to her own psychiatrist for treatment for BiPolar (BP) and anxiety or whatever. I would be running to that psychiatrist and so what if the sd writes aspergers in an iep. The accommodations are going to be based on specific areas of difficulties, it's not a treatment plan.
  13. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Not exactly- they have to get re-evaled every three years to see if they are still eligible.

    Is your sig correct- is she 12yo now?
  14. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Also, keep in mind that with a BiPolar (BP) diagnosis, the sd could possibly come back on you someday if you aren't giving your difficult child ms's and they are recommended by psychiatrist for BiPolar (BP) treatment. They can get cps or a court involved for that, especially if they are working with you on an iep for BiPolar (BP)- they just turn you in for refusing medical treatment for a BiPolar (BP) kid. It's a long shot that they would win- esp with all you can prove, but it would just be more koi to deal with. Why not just try to get them to agree to an ED category?
  15. confuzzled

    confuzzled Member

    i'm confused over why the math/reading disability isnt enough to begin the IEP...clearly they have some educational impact.

    and at the end of the day, *that* is the only thing the school cares about. you are going to have a very tough road if you strictly focus on the BiPolar (BP)--the diagnosis alone doesnt just automatically qualify for services. a kid might manage just fine during the school day and be a disaster at home--not the schools problem. it has to impact her educationally, and they have to quantify how. we all know that the diagnosis impacts LIFE, but the school is only responsible for 6 hours of it--it conceivably could be the 6 hours she's a gem.

    maybe a better example is a kid with adhd. the diagnosis *DOES NOT* automatically qualify for services. while that sounds ridiculous, what if that kid is properly medicated and managing during school hours? not only is there no educational impact, but there is zero need for services--same with BiPolar (BP).

    in my opinion you'd be better served focusing on the learning disabilities, getting the IEP process moving, and worring about the rest later. as soon as she is in a classroom her other needs will be readily apparent and you can revisit the IEP then--but to keep dragging this process on isnt helping you. you can easily quantify how a math/reading gap needs to be addressed with an iep and work goals and mods around that.

    its a start. and you *NEED* to start. (and finish--she needs to know for sept for her own head)

    and fyi--first year ever mine popped in to say hi during her IEP (she was called to the office without warning and had an anxiety attact thinking she was in trouble--very bad plan). i have a 19 year old who has NEVER been to one, in fact one year was in another state during the meeting. they ususally encourage it at 13 for transition planning, but i dont know that its mandatory--i would think it would be impossible to be a law just based on this board alone but i cant cite law either way.

    sorry you had a bad meeting--hope it goes better next time.
  16. Jena

    Jena New Member

    yes she's 12 now. my age is off i'm now 41 lol. i am just going to get her pych to do another evaluation. he'll probably charge us because insurance doesn't cover evaluations. and it's 200.

    i'll give school the bill. guy chairing mtg. was a jerk he said ah i know her pyschiatrist well, he's affiliated with the hospital they wanted me to go to. my husband said no he isn't and told him the hospital he was associated with.

    i'm just going to calm down, def. ask my neuro for some xanax that i can take just for these cse meetings to avoid a flare up whcih im now in again. and just hope once i provide it all they give the kid what she deserves. i medicate accordingly so tha tisnt' an issue. i have to tell pysch when we meet no more stupid anxiety medications or antipyschotics, she needs a mood stabilizer. let's medicate her right.

    they aren't calling it a true learning disability, she fell within 80 of the scale that is from 95 to 110. they said deficiency. which they think is related to her diagnosis anxiety etc.
  17. confuzzled

    confuzzled Member

    you can come back to them and request an INDEPENDENT EDUCATIONAL evaluation (including psychiatrist) if you dont agree with their finding and they wont accept yours.

    and one thing that does NOT mean is a single option of a psychiatrist at the autism clinic--they must provide you with a list of appropriate evaulators of, i believe, at least three.

    ask them for their list of independent evaluators.

    and request it in writing if you'd like an IEE.

    (and i hate to say this out loud--but a throwaway aspergers diagnosis for school purposes might not be the worse thing in the world--it would probably get her services galore. no one says its a lifelong diagnosis...and thats not something i thought i'd ever say!)
  18. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Ok, it doesn't have to be a learning disability. If she has a diagnosis of anxiety and the anxiety is impeding her learning, she qualifies.
  19. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Correct, it's not the diagnosis that qualifies a kid for an iep- it's that there is "something" impeding the learning. You pretty much have to come up with some "name" (or diagnosis) to identiry the something, but it really makes no difference as far as the sd. My son first qual'd under ED and in three years had about 4 different (but similar) diagnosis's- major depression, BiPolar (BP), adjustment disorder, possible anxiety- it made no difference whatsoever to the sd, even though it got written and changed each time in the iep. Once the kid qualifies, the diagnosis can change unless you have gotten her qual'd based solely on a diagnosis in which case, that could get sticky if they disagreed that "something" was impeding her learning.
  20. confuzzled

    confuzzled Member

    and you cant just have her re-evaled on your dime and expect they'll pay for it, let alone accept the results.

    it needs to be someone formally requested during an IEE from an approved list of providers.

    i really think it would be a good idea for you to hire an advocate to help you understand the process better--or at least go to some kind of an IEP seminar--it can be a confusing process and you really need to understand your rights and the SD's role in the process