wish us luck...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by ksm, Mar 24, 2012.

  1. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    I think we will need it. We leave in the morning for a week of spring break. We have reserved a condo in Branson MO and have about a 6 hour ride ahead of us. This week has been really stressful. difficult child has been difficult. Seems like we had a few quiet weeks and all heck broke out this week. Not sure why... it was her 14th birthday... and I thought it went well. Except for the part where she got to have an overnight with a friend or two. She must have asked several girls to spend the night and none committed. Today a friend called and invited her to a movie matinee... she still had to pack and clean up her room - but had two hours to get it done so we said OK. Well, then all she did was stall and complain. and argue. and argue some more.

    husband was going to make her stay home because of all her yelling but I didn't want her at the house. I NEEDED that two hours away from her. Not sure how we will survive a long car ride. The stress made me so tense I had to take a pain pill from my shoulder surgery as I had pain shooting down my neck to my arm. I haven't been having to take any pain pills for several weeks...

    She just can't let anything go. Everything has to be done her way or she has a melt down. Even packing clothes... it was like she was Martha Stewart explaining why her clothes HAD to be on top of easy child's clothes in the luggage. Then she would dump everything out and start over. After being rude to all of us, then she would syrupy sweetly ask us to do things for her. Like run to the basement for clothes from the dryer, or hunt for her swim suit, or put things away so she didn't have to get up. She doesn't understand that after being yelled at for hours, and no apology, why we didn't want to help her out any!

    When she gets this way, she wants to rant and rave at us and we aren't to interrupt her. SHe wants to "explain" to us over and over why things aren't fair. When we try to get her to drop it, she just gets more agitated. When we ignore her, it escalates more. It is always "no one listens to me" "everyone hates me" etc... etc... I don't want to be her captive audience so she can regurgitate all her hate and disappoints at me.

    I am exhausted. I am frustrated. I don't enjoy being around her. Not sure how I will handle a whole week. Told husband the first thing we do on Monday is visit the Winery for a tour and samples and a big bottle of wine for the week. Not sure it will help, but it can't hurt. Just so you know...I am not a drinker. Think we had two bottles of wine in the last year. Probably need more than that for this week!

  2. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Good luck! Ornery teenages, 6 hour car trip - sounds like a chore rather than a vacation! Hope getting away loosens everyone and the trip is "event-free"

  3. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Anticipation of the vacation??? and then feeling stressed to get things done last minute?? That about sums up OUR pre-vacation days too. Hopefully things will go better once you are actually there. I do NOT envy you the car ride. That would take more than I have at this point in time.

    May your vacation plans go off without a hitch AND without drama.
  4. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    Sounds like my middle difficult child! When she gets like that, and if she were to be going out like your difficult child, we would normally say "don't do what you need to do and no going out." I get that you needed the break been there done that myself. Usually difficult child wants to go bad enough that she will get it done even if it's the last moments, which it usually is after all her whining and complaining and stalling.

    A 6 hour drive? Yeah, not fun. Try it with 3 of them that fight! *sigh* Game boys, ds', mp3s? Those have been our saving graces on trips like that. Stopping for bathroom breaks, having lots of snacks, sometimes we are able to engage in car games (like counting how many of a certain colored car, alphabet searches -finding something that begins with a in a sign etc., any of your classic games which you can also find online). It may sound like they are for young kids but you'd be surprised that even teens will go for it when they are bored and tired of listening to or playing their games. Do you have portable DVD player (s)? That has also been another saving grace as well.

    I do hope you have an enjoyable trip. Any of the ideas above will also work at the location to for boredom times. Kids naturally will get into it just like at home and become ornary. Hopefully the different change of pace/scenery, however, will help a bit more! :)
  5. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    It's less of a problem now, but... we used to live a day's drive in opposite directions to two sets of grandparents... and for years, we survived on formal in-car games. The FORMAL ones have the advantage that someone ELSE wrote the rules... (trust me on this).

    Add in... any kind of paper work your kids like to do... from origami to Sudoku or word-find or cross-words.