I had a lot of those same - OMG this cost a small fortune - thoughts and even walking down the AISLE - My Father's best attempt at getting me to change my mind from getting wedded to Satan was....."Sure is a lot of good food upstairs...maybe we should just turn around and get the tackle box and poles and go fishing?" THE MINUTE my mind even CONSIDERED leaving to go fishing with my Dad?????? OMG I should have run out of that church like my hair was on fire. Shoulda,wooda,coulda.........didn't.....life of misery ensued. Life away from my family, life of raisisng a difficult child, life of being battered, tortured, abused.....life in hell. TIME WASTED.....and years in therapy to find the otherside. Not so much life wasted - because I did gain a tremendous amount of knowledge and know things - loads of things - but wow what a way to get an education. One I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy - who is actually - my ex husband. Whom I now pray for to find peace in his life before he dies. But mostly to stay away from me.
I asked years later WHY My Mom never voiced her opinions about the RUMBLING MOUNTAIN that I was about to marry. She said her opinion in my life wouldn't have mattered. I scoffed at the easy out answer but you know what? In actuality I believe she was right. Hell bent for leather I was going to marry this man I had met 17 days ago who swept me off my feet and was so charming and beguiling. I stuck with it for 13 years, and one child....a tortured soul still to this day. 21 years later - This mans opinions, his actions, his behaviors, his wrongdoings....his hate, lust, mean tempered, mentally ill, sickness - is still spanning generations and had I listened to my own heart walking down that aisle and put THINGS on hold? THINGS?????
Can a cake be rebaked? YES.
Can a hall be re=rented? SURE - it's been there HOW LONG?
Can people come to a party later? Well duh - think back to hown many partyies you've gone to as kids that were bombs/flops - and this one doesn't have exceptions - it's YOUR party for life.
Can a dress be altered later? ABSOLUTELY.
What about being embarrassed in front of all those people? SINCE WHEN does anyones opinion matter but MINE?
What about him saying something like - WELL IF YOU LOVE ME - it's now or never? .....Well babboon if you love ME.....YOU will wait until I AM READY----next month next year - and if we're right? I'll know it. Doesn't have to be RIGHT NOW. (I"ve been engaged for 13 years) ----NOT A BIG DEAL......Last Time I said I do - It DID NOT -and things went south like (snap) that quick. So Once bitten - twice shy - and this guy even took his shoe off and THREW it on the floor and said 'THERE darlin' the other shoe dropped. Nothing to wait for now - but you." And he smiles every day ------and waits every day - and is happy every day just to have whatever we have - and is grateful.
SO to recap - PRESSURE does NOT =HAPPY MARRIAGE.
Marriage is NOT about - cake, dress, and sadness - stress and bridezilla - and if those are the top things in her life right now? Then what MARRIAGE is about isn't entering her mind and her MARRIGE isn't going to survive anyway - so why bother? She should be happy, and giddy, and smiling,,,,,,thinking about her future, and him........and her vows....how very special they are. And her committment and promises...to God on being a wife. I think if those things aren't entering your mind? For a lifetime committment? Then step away from it. Some of those things were in my mind when I got married. My committment was - but his wasn't. He'd lied about almost everything....and he was controlling....and mean, and abusive......he did not have a job. He didn't have a home. He took me from my family and I haven't been back in almost 30 years. So it happens. It was nothing but a big mess - and all because he said "I love you." and I believed him. I wanted to believe him - or I hoped I believed him. I had no idea what it was.....I do now. (shrug) but we all have a life to live....and sadly you can't live hers. IF her's is meant to be the same as mine was - not much you can do about it, but I think talking to the pastor is a good thing.....however if she's not grounded in faith? It's going to be like preaching to the choir. She'll listen - figure the rules don't apply to her - and move in her own direction anyway.
I'd recommend S&W.......for her Dad. 30 caliber should do .......lol. (just kidding just kidding) .20 would get it done........lol.