I am curious, in general, not in any personal way or about anyone in particular. I am really not asking about married people who live with Abuser, who abuser has estranged from all family and friends and one who has children with him/her even, and doesn't have a job. I get that as sad as it is. I have read many books about domestic violence in marriages or with people who share kids and I heard their sad voices. What I have no clarity about is why many women (and men) who have family, friends and a job and who don't share children don't leave an abuser. Some of our difficult kids are like this, especially the girls, although there is the opposite as well. I don't believe it has fiddly to do with upbringing, even if they saw abuse, because many people decide "that will never be me." And many from good families find these abusers and won't leave them, sometimes giving up loving relationships to stay. Some are highly intelligent. They know. But they keep going back. And, of course, the end result can be death. Yes, I watch investigative discovery, a fraction of how much I once did, but each preventable murder true story makes me very sad and ask why? So many times the family begged usually a her (But not always) to leave...that the loved one would help. Beside low self esteem, which so many people have, what would be a reason for this to happen? It puzzles me. In my dating career, I had a few losers but none were abusive. My first husband was verbally and financially abusive and I stopped loving him and eventually left. My life was never in danger...he was very strange and his verbal vomit finally is why I filed for divorce. Any thoughts on why anyone, without living with someone and without children, would keep going back to a bad man? Or woman? Why do so many women attracted to "bad boyz?" I never was so I don't understand first hand. My first husband was mean to me, but I knew it wouldn't go well and I needed to leave home. Maybe that is one explanation. But if he would have been a threat to me legally or physically, I would have left. Well, I had a long day doing finishing touches before Christmas then watched a true crime story about a young woman who did just this and was killed and all her family could do was cry and say she had it all and wasted it for him. So if you had the interest and staying power to read all this, and even care, I would love feedback.. Have a great holiday to all!!!