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women who keep going back to abusers???
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<blockquote data-quote="AnnieO" data-source="post: 725711" data-attributes="member: 6705"><p>Interesting thoughts.</p><p></p><p>From my point of view - I was always the ugly duckling, but smart. I wasn't told I was pretty, but a big deal was made of how smart I was and I never felt I was living up to it. I also went to a private school but my parents were firmly middle-class, so there was that whole rich kid thing. I wanted to fit in, to be pretty. So... When I became a teen, I gravitated toward anyone who thought I was pretty. I didn't have the greatest self-esteem.</p><p></p><p>Fast-forward a few years, and married to ex... He paid attention to me, to begin with. And then he didn't. I tried everything I knew to get his attention... And then finally left when someone else paid attention. That was NOT EASY. I didn't want to fail, to disappoint.</p><p></p><p>Then Bill. He and I have had some rough times. Some of what he did was abusive. He did not realize - and will still fall back into patterns if I allow it to happen. However, he was willing to work on himself, which many abusers are not. Still - I felt alone, trapped, could not talk about my feelings because I was afraid to disappoint.</p><p></p><p>Now... If I hadn't stayed through it... And found a way to make it work (and let's be honest this is an anomaly)... I would not have Rose. I wouldn't be with a wonderful, but HUMAN, guy.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AnnieO, post: 725711, member: 6705"] Interesting thoughts. From my point of view - I was always the ugly duckling, but smart. I wasn't told I was pretty, but a big deal was made of how smart I was and I never felt I was living up to it. I also went to a private school but my parents were firmly middle-class, so there was that whole rich kid thing. I wanted to fit in, to be pretty. So... When I became a teen, I gravitated toward anyone who thought I was pretty. I didn't have the greatest self-esteem. Fast-forward a few years, and married to ex... He paid attention to me, to begin with. And then he didn't. I tried everything I knew to get his attention... And then finally left when someone else paid attention. That was NOT EASY. I didn't want to fail, to disappoint. Then Bill. He and I have had some rough times. Some of what he did was abusive. He did not realize - and will still fall back into patterns if I allow it to happen. However, he was willing to work on himself, which many abusers are not. Still - I felt alone, trapped, could not talk about my feelings because I was afraid to disappoint. Now... If I hadn't stayed through it... And found a way to make it work (and let's be honest this is an anomaly)... I would not have Rose. I wouldn't be with a wonderful, but HUMAN, guy. [/QUOTE]
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