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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 659345" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>We will be there with you Echo, in the heart of you. Part of the crying is acceptance, I think. Or disbelief. It is so unusual a way to be treated, when we go to see someone in jail. Before I went there, I was someone's mom, or someone's wife, or the lady who made such good brownies. But when I got there, no one even smiled at me, Echo. A person actually ran her hands (gloved, at least) over the insides of my shoes. I had never been treated in that depersonalized way. I am not sure I ever recovered. Not fully, not in that way that I was before I knew about how it feels to be treated like that.</p><p></p><p>Though there was nothing out of place, everything seemed very dirty.</p><p></p><p>We have been some of the strangest places. We have taken some of the strangest phone calls.</p><p></p><p>All of it so disheartening.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p><p></p><p>Oh, wait. This isn't very cheerful. Well, that's alright, Echo. There are some times and places where staying steady state is impossible, too. It's just all so disorienting. I don't know how they get it to feel that way. There is a disconnect in my brain between the feel of a jail and the feel of my child and so I just go numb.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry, Echo.</p><p></p><p>That wasn't very cheerful, either.</p><p></p><p>Well, okay. So let's just let that cheerful part go, then. </p><p></p><p>We are here, Echo. </p><p></p><p>I will check too, throughout the day.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 659345, member: 17461"] We will be there with you Echo, in the heart of you. Part of the crying is acceptance, I think. Or disbelief. It is so unusual a way to be treated, when we go to see someone in jail. Before I went there, I was someone's mom, or someone's wife, or the lady who made such good brownies. But when I got there, no one even smiled at me, Echo. A person actually ran her hands (gloved, at least) over the insides of my shoes. I had never been treated in that depersonalized way. I am not sure I ever recovered. Not fully, not in that way that I was before I knew about how it feels to be treated like that. Though there was nothing out of place, everything seemed very dirty. We have been some of the strangest places. We have taken some of the strangest phone calls. All of it so disheartening. Cedar Oh, wait. This isn't very cheerful. Well, that's alright, Echo. There are some times and places where staying steady state is impossible, too. It's just all so disorienting. I don't know how they get it to feel that way. There is a disconnect in my brain between the feel of a jail and the feel of my child and so I just go numb. I am sorry, Echo. That wasn't very cheerful, either. Well, okay. So let's just let that cheerful part go, then. We are here, Echo. I will check too, throughout the day. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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