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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 659355" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Echo, I so understand what you wrote. It is the helplessness of it all...and then the fear...for ourselves and those we love. </p><p></p><p>I visited Difficult Child in jail many times until toward the last few times when I just chose not to do it to myself anymore. The jail and the workhouse here are both within three miles of where I live. The jail is an eight story building. All red brick very few windows. You have to go into a certain door. There are lots of rules posted on the door about not bringing in even a purse. It is hard to know what to do with your car keys. You have to check in and show your driver's license. Then you sit in a waiting room where Fox News is always on. People come in and go through the same thing and then sit down to wait. There are all kinds of people there. Young, old, poor, affluent. Waiting. Then at a certain time all are invited to ride up on the elevator to a certain floor. You get off and there are chairs and windows with telephone receivers. You wait and wait and finally your person comes to the other side and sits down. You talk through the receiver. Everybody is talking louder and louder so it's hard to hear anything. The inmates wear different color closing to signify misdemeanor or feliny. I remember Difficult Child wearing the felony color at one point. The color devastated me. </p><p></p><p>It is a very unsatisfying experience, these visits, for me. I just want to lay eyes on him, to see him. There is little to say, for me. I am terrified to know what really goes on I there. I still am. </p><p></p><p>I remember early on they kept changing the rules about the books they could have. And the letters. I would write a letter and it would be sent back. Now you can only send a postcard. The books have to come directly from Amazon or a mailer. This, after going and buying many used books for him, the World War II books he likes, at a used bookstore.</p><p></p><p>The inhumanity is incredible. Our jail releases inmates at midnight the first minute they can be released. No money no transportation Just get off the property in ten minutes. </p><p></p><p>I am praying your Difficult Child gets to mental health court and can get help. Our jails are our</p><p>Mental hospitals now...so not right. </p><p></p><p>I understand your crying and crying. Just sitting here, writing this, takes me back to the terrified helplessness I felt. I know being a jailer has to be very hard and you would become cynical and jaded by all you saw and heard. But I believe many of the family members walk through those doors at the weakest point in their lives. Completely broken by their loved one there. I know that was me. Experiencing some humanity from the persons at these places, just small moments of it---and I did---was so comforting in such an awful surreal situation. </p><p></p><p>Please let us know how it goes today. I am with you in spirit. I believe whatever you feel, it is completely okay and right where you are and should be. Crying and crying in the car is a release and ultimately healing. </p><p></p><p>I am so praying that this whole experience with your Difficult Child is a turning point. And it has to be to get where he goes next. </p><p></p><p>Sending strength and courage and compassion your way today echo.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 659355, member: 17542"] Echo, I so understand what you wrote. It is the helplessness of it all...and then the fear...for ourselves and those we love. I visited Difficult Child in jail many times until toward the last few times when I just chose not to do it to myself anymore. The jail and the workhouse here are both within three miles of where I live. The jail is an eight story building. All red brick very few windows. You have to go into a certain door. There are lots of rules posted on the door about not bringing in even a purse. It is hard to know what to do with your car keys. You have to check in and show your driver's license. Then you sit in a waiting room where Fox News is always on. People come in and go through the same thing and then sit down to wait. There are all kinds of people there. Young, old, poor, affluent. Waiting. Then at a certain time all are invited to ride up on the elevator to a certain floor. You get off and there are chairs and windows with telephone receivers. You wait and wait and finally your person comes to the other side and sits down. You talk through the receiver. Everybody is talking louder and louder so it's hard to hear anything. The inmates wear different color closing to signify misdemeanor or feliny. I remember Difficult Child wearing the felony color at one point. The color devastated me. It is a very unsatisfying experience, these visits, for me. I just want to lay eyes on him, to see him. There is little to say, for me. I am terrified to know what really goes on I there. I still am. I remember early on they kept changing the rules about the books they could have. And the letters. I would write a letter and it would be sent back. Now you can only send a postcard. The books have to come directly from Amazon or a mailer. This, after going and buying many used books for him, the World War II books he likes, at a used bookstore. The inhumanity is incredible. Our jail releases inmates at midnight the first minute they can be released. No money no transportation Just get off the property in ten minutes. I am praying your Difficult Child gets to mental health court and can get help. Our jails are our Mental hospitals now...so not right. I understand your crying and crying. Just sitting here, writing this, takes me back to the terrified helplessness I felt. I know being a jailer has to be very hard and you would become cynical and jaded by all you saw and heard. But I believe many of the family members walk through those doors at the weakest point in their lives. Completely broken by their loved one there. I know that was me. Experiencing some humanity from the persons at these places, just small moments of it---and I did---was so comforting in such an awful surreal situation. Please let us know how it goes today. I am with you in spirit. I believe whatever you feel, it is completely okay and right where you are and should be. Crying and crying in the car is a release and ultimately healing. I am so praying that this whole experience with your Difficult Child is a turning point. And it has to be to get where he goes next. Sending strength and courage and compassion your way today echo. [/QUOTE]
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