For the people wondering about how to detach more from your adult kids, here is the latest response from my mother about my situation. She has it down pat. Oh- and although she doesn't want either of us there and she never visited difficult child in Department of Juvenile Justice and she hasn't seen him in about 2+ years, she asked me to tell difficult child "she can't wait to see him again" the next time I talk to him. My mother is all about giving a false sense of caring and being there if needed. Now, if I called her a month from now and said difficult child and I were sleeping in the car, she would call CPS and/or someone in the family to take difficult child. Never mind that I was NOT a moocher on her or a difficult child in the sense of what we all deal with on this board. I had asked her a couple of months ago (before filing BR), to let me stay there temporarily and look for a job and I could help her with these projects on her house and pay her some (out of the money I ended up using for BR), and she said no. This was after spending weeks telling me difficult child and I should come there. Then, I almost begged and let her know it was a little more desparate situation and she basicly said "sorry- she has her own problems". So, instead of using the money I had left to go there and look for any kind of work and get an apt., then filing for BR once I started getting paychecks, I went ahead and did it in order to buy me more time in this house so I wouldn't be sleeping in the car. She better never try to get me on that law where adult kids have to take care of their parents. LOL! If anyone has any ideas how I should respond to her email, please let me know. Oh- I was being somewhat facetious (sp) about detaching and this being a suggestion about this method. Personally, I think it's preferable to be honest about the whole thing rather than give a false sense that you are there for a person then make up excuses about why you can't help.