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Wondering how to help without enabling
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<blockquote data-quote="Sherril2000" data-source="post: 659385" data-attributes="member: 18767"><p>Thank you for this. It helps so much to hear from others who have been there & understand. I hope your son is doing better now. I hate to say it, but yes sometimes it is a relief when he's in jail. Like you said, at least I know where he is & he's not high & has a roof over his head. I'm trying to be supportive by putting money on his Canteen & phone accounts, & visiting him every Sunday. As crazy as it sounds, I even tried to lock him in at night to keep him out of trouble by changing the code on my security system. Of course he still found a way out & got in trouble again.</p><p></p><p>You're also correct in saying we can't do it for them. I know I've always been too quick to jump in & fix everything for him. I realize that's classic enabling, so that's why I'm trying so hard to be supportive but no longer enabling. Your suggestions mean a lot to me. From a mother who's been through a similar situation, looking back, your advice really helps.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sherril2000, post: 659385, member: 18767"] Thank you for this. It helps so much to hear from others who have been there & understand. I hope your son is doing better now. I hate to say it, but yes sometimes it is a relief when he's in jail. Like you said, at least I know where he is & he's not high & has a roof over his head. I'm trying to be supportive by putting money on his Canteen & phone accounts, & visiting him every Sunday. As crazy as it sounds, I even tried to lock him in at night to keep him out of trouble by changing the code on my security system. Of course he still found a way out & got in trouble again. You're also correct in saying we can't do it for them. I know I've always been too quick to jump in & fix everything for him. I realize that's classic enabling, so that's why I'm trying so hard to be supportive but no longer enabling. Your suggestions mean a lot to me. From a mother who's been through a similar situation, looking back, your advice really helps. [/QUOTE]
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