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Family of Origin
Work and Germany: Abandonment
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 674500" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>I hadn't thought of it in just that way, Copa. It was a way too of seeing clearly who you were in this time and of exploring the taste of the qualities you would seek to incorporate. </p><p></p><p>Were they worthy of you; is this the direction, the self you will create.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe, less about the stuff, though you did buy it, than about savoring the qualities of self that woman whose things those were would exhibit.</p><p></p><p>That would explain why none of it satisfied you. Not that the purchase was incorrect, but that the woman whose things those were was not where you were going, after all.</p><p></p><p>What a unique way to explore all those facets of self, Copa.</p><p></p><p>I still love the kayak story.</p><p></p><p>It's so strange that we are finding that the very things we thought were so freaking weak or even, pathologic, were tools through which we chose to heal.</p><p></p><p>Defiantly.</p><p></p><p>Isn't that something.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Me, too. The difference now is that I feel a rush of compassion for that little girl who was me.</p><p></p><p>Before, I hated her, too.</p><p></p><p>She suffered alone.</p><p></p><p>I was so ashamed to be me.</p><p></p><p>Now that I am there? She does not suffer. She is blessed and there is gratitude and oh, the light in her eyes when she sees me making my way toward her!</p><p></p><p>And then, she is me.</p><p></p><p>And we both are happy, and there is a little more light.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Thank you, Copa.</p><p></p><p>We do know. And it is good not to be alone in the forest. Even when we are not next to one another, we can hear the others making their ways, too.</p><p></p><p>I think we could not do this alone.</p><p></p><p>But I think this loneliness part means we are entering the intricate complexity of something we do not know. And I think there may be no echoes of one another's progress, there.</p><p></p><p>That theme of loneliness, of whatever that word is I am looking for.</p><p></p><p>Whatever it is? That is where we are going, next. We are going to need those concepts of work and of Germany I think.</p><p></p><p>And anything else we can depend on. Which will only be ourselves.</p><p></p><p>Oh, great.</p><p></p><p>Here is something else I read this morning, then: (Paraphrasing, not a direct quote.) <em>It was a definition of happiness as something very different than we think. According to this interpretation, happiness has to do with useful; with honorable. </em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>With compassion.</em></p><p></p><p>On another thread Copa, you were posting about integrity.</p><p></p><p>So, this definition of happiness fits into the core of that thinking.</p><p></p><p>Integrity is not something so easily practiced either, when you think about it. Rife with guilt and the potential for self condemnation.</p><p></p><p>So, we need to be focused. Focused or in that place where everything is quiet, so we can know. But life moves so quickly.</p><p></p><p>So, integrity can be a dangerous concept for us, too.</p><p></p><p>Remembering the real priority is compassion the child we were may help us.</p><p></p><p>It will be our negative tape place, our amygdala-generated automatic emotional position, to condemn and desert her.</p><p></p><p>Maybe, that is her loneliness and courage we feel, now.</p><p></p><p>I am impressed.</p><p></p><p>Here we go, everyone. This is information on our brains and emotions. Recent research indicates the brain is a more generous receptacle than neuroscience would have had us believe for all these years. So, soon enough, this imagery will not be accurate. But for now, this is how things work, and a pretty good approximation too, I think.</p><p></p><p>Essentially, for the sake of efficiency, we form emotional rivers, carve emotional riverbeds. Overwhelming emotional content is funneled easily and without error <em>TO OUR GO TO RESPONSE</em>.</p><p></p><p>That is part of why this is so hard. Remember the myth about Sisyphus and the cleaning the stables and the river? That is what we are doing.</p><p></p><p>Changing the course of the river, to clean the Augean stables.</p><p></p><p>Those people who wrote those myths?</p><p></p><p>Stellar.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 674500, member: 17461"] I hadn't thought of it in just that way, Copa. It was a way too of seeing clearly who you were in this time and of exploring the taste of the qualities you would seek to incorporate. Were they worthy of you; is this the direction, the self you will create. Maybe, less about the stuff, though you did buy it, than about savoring the qualities of self that woman whose things those were would exhibit. That would explain why none of it satisfied you. Not that the purchase was incorrect, but that the woman whose things those were was not where you were going, after all. What a unique way to explore all those facets of self, Copa. I still love the kayak story. It's so strange that we are finding that the very things we thought were so freaking weak or even, pathologic, were tools through which we chose to heal. Defiantly. Isn't that something. Me, too. The difference now is that I feel a rush of compassion for that little girl who was me. Before, I hated her, too. She suffered alone. I was so ashamed to be me. Now that I am there? She does not suffer. She is blessed and there is gratitude and oh, the light in her eyes when she sees me making my way toward her! And then, she is me. And we both are happy, and there is a little more light. Thank you, Copa. We do know. And it is good not to be alone in the forest. Even when we are not next to one another, we can hear the others making their ways, too. I think we could not do this alone. But I think this loneliness part means we are entering the intricate complexity of something we do not know. And I think there may be no echoes of one another's progress, there. That theme of loneliness, of whatever that word is I am looking for. Whatever it is? That is where we are going, next. We are going to need those concepts of work and of Germany I think. And anything else we can depend on. Which will only be ourselves. Oh, great. Here is something else I read this morning, then: (Paraphrasing, not a direct quote.) [I]It was a definition of happiness as something very different than we think. According to this interpretation, happiness has to do with useful; with honorable. With compassion.[/I] On another thread Copa, you were posting about integrity. So, this definition of happiness fits into the core of that thinking. Integrity is not something so easily practiced either, when you think about it. Rife with guilt and the potential for self condemnation. So, we need to be focused. Focused or in that place where everything is quiet, so we can know. But life moves so quickly. So, integrity can be a dangerous concept for us, too. Remembering the real priority is compassion the child we were may help us. It will be our negative tape place, our amygdala-generated automatic emotional position, to condemn and desert her. Maybe, that is her loneliness and courage we feel, now. I am impressed. Here we go, everyone. This is information on our brains and emotions. Recent research indicates the brain is a more generous receptacle than neuroscience would have had us believe for all these years. So, soon enough, this imagery will not be accurate. But for now, this is how things work, and a pretty good approximation too, I think. Essentially, for the sake of efficiency, we form emotional rivers, carve emotional riverbeds. Overwhelming emotional content is funneled easily and without error [I]TO OUR GO TO RESPONSE[/I]. That is part of why this is so hard. Remember the myth about Sisyphus and the cleaning the stables and the river? That is what we are doing. Changing the course of the river, to clean the Augean stables. Those people who wrote those myths? Stellar. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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