Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
Family of Origin
Work and Germany; Benedictines and Buddhists: Attitude
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 671670" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Oh, how it pleases me to see you, Serenity.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>***</p><p></p><p>I came on this morning to keep a running commentary on how this feels. I believe I am progressing, but I am...I seem to be coming passionately alive to my own point of view. There is roaring explosive angry; there is an almost delirious intensity of drinking in and absorbing and celebrating emotion, good and bad and sudden and sharp and sometimes, piercingly sweet. </p><p></p><p>Like in the surfing picture Leafy posted for us that day.</p><p></p><p>Like that.</p><p></p><p>Overwhelmed, and the colors and intensity are beautiful and without shadings. There is the need to be very strong, and an answering call of strength, and center and balance in process. </p><p></p><p>And the wind, and the laughter and speed.</p><p></p><p>I believe that surfing imagery has replaced the beautiful whore bathing in the courtyard imagery. It is that intense. I feel it that strongly.</p><p></p><p>I read something yesterday and actually got tears in my eyes <em>and that never happens.</em></p><p></p><p><em>And I let it happen, and I watched it happen.</em></p><p></p><p>So I am still here, still present, that part of each of us that is the real self; the watcher Eckhart Tolle describes.</p><p></p><p>But boy, those emotionals, the speed and the Sun in that surfing imagery ~ wow.</p><p></p><p>And the water, so intensely blue and alive.</p><p></p><p>So that is what is in the beginning of the place beneath the scabbed defenses that cover the shame that covers abandonment; that dark place without sound or color.</p><p></p><p>Life.</p><p></p><p>Aliveness.</p><p></p><p>It is overwhelming, in the sense that I recognize my capacity to assess my situation accurately is off. I take offense readily...but there is sense of great good humor, too.</p><p></p><p>Like a kaleidescope, in that way.</p><p></p><p>That intense. That angry. That funny. That kind.</p><p></p><p>That alive.</p><p></p><p>I swear, the humor was a requirement, or I would have blown myself up, I have been so often flashpoint angry. True to form, I am stumbling from lesson to lesson in the real world, with real people and real situations and I find that hilarious too because I am so freaking mad all the time, now.</p><p></p><p>I don't exactly know what to do with any of it.</p><p></p><p>How strange.</p><p></p><p>Boy, I cannot believe how short-tempered I have become. Impatient and short tempered and easily offended and fuming. It's shocking. I am holding determinedly to faith that this is legitimate emotion whether I have words for it or not.</p><p></p><p>And it just all strikes me so intently. </p><p></p><p>I am raw, but only just the tiniest bit open. The waters are still deep and black and impossibly cold, but the Sun from the surfing video strikes shafts of grey into the black water.</p><p></p><p>So cold.</p><p></p><p>So still.</p><p></p><p>***</p><p></p><p>So, this morning in my looking around for what I needed, I found:</p><p></p><p>"In business, there is such a thing as an invaluable person, but there is no such thing as an indispensable one."</p><p></p><p>Forbes</p><p></p><p>***</p><p></p><p>Beauty for ashes has been a phrase much on my mind and with it, a sense of entitlement; of a Promise.</p><p></p><p>***</p><p></p><p>So, I began reading about raising children. In a sense, that is what we each are doing, in reparenting our traumatized children within.</p><p></p><p><u>Ten Things Healthy Families Tell Their Children</u></p><p></p><p>1) Go ahead; try. It's a big, beautiful world, out there.</p><p>2) It's your choice.</p><p>3) You are safe, and loved.</p><p>4) You make me happy.</p><p>5) I trust and believe in you.</p><p>6) Have a great day. Don't forget who you are.</p><p>7) Mistakes happen.</p><p>8) I love you.</p><p></p><p>Okay, so that was eight things.</p><p></p><p><u>10 Phrases Resilient Families Use Alot</u></p><p><u></u></p><p>1) Laugh it off. Come on, laugh it off.</p><p></p><p><em>Humor elevates feeling tones, increases the sense of internal locus of control, increases feelings of personal empowerment and resilience.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p> <em></em>I would add that we need also to remain focused and aware of our work, as was noted earlier in this thread. Leaven with laughter; this is a slippery slope area. Easy, so easy, to slip into ridicule and victimization of others <em>or of ourselves.</em></p><p></p><p>2) Don't let this (event or incident) spoil everything. Make another success, or remember what you <em>are</em> good at; what you do well. What you will learn.</p><p></p><p>3) Let's take a break.</p><p></p><p><em>Sometimes, I sit and think. And sometimes, I just sit.</em></p><p></p><p>4) Who have you spoken to about this? There are supportive people everywhere. We only need to find them.</p><p></p><p>5) I know it looks bad now, but you will get through this.</p><p></p><p>6) What can you learn from this? Positive reframing.</p><p></p><p>7) Don't worry. Relax.</p><p></p><p>8) This isn't the end of the world. You will probably make friends, just like you always do.</p><p></p><p>9) You could be right. But have you thought about....</p><p></p><p>10) What can we do about this? (About disappointment, about feelings of inadequacy or helplessness.)</p><p></p><p>***</p><p></p><p>Language: Extreme language leads to extreme emotional responses and black/white thinking. Tone it down to gray. </p><p></p><p>For instance: </p><p></p><p>"I'm angry.", to "This is annoying."</p><p>"This is a disaster.", to "Talk about a pain in the gluteus maximus."</p><p></p><p>Realistic languaging leads to realistic thinking, which helps us redefine our perceptions.</p><p></p><p>***</p><p></p><p>Establishing resiliency: (Which is the flexibility versus rigidity dialogue taking place in the research Serenity posted for us.)</p><p></p><p>Feelings of constant failure, of constant rejection, of always narrowly missing being picked for the team. (Which are other words, prettier ones, for ridicule and victimization and abandonment.)</p><p></p><p>Take action.</p><p>Hold their hands.</p><p>Hang in there. This will pass. Find some rewarding activity to counter the pain.</p><p></p><p>And finally, something I found especially appropriate, given my recent, unanticipated fixation on Michael Corleone: </p><p></p><p>From Facebook this morning.</p><p></p><p>Michael is smoking a cigar. Leaning back, he says:</p><p></p><p>"There are three things you should know about me.</p><p></p><p>1) My circle is small.</p><p></p><p>2) I'm loyal to the end.</p><p></p><p>3) Never f*** me over.</p><p></p><p>And I mean, that is resonating with me, you guys. And there it was, right on my Facebook.</p><p></p><p>?</p><p></p><p>So, that was my morning.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 671670, member: 17461"] Oh, how it pleases me to see you, Serenity. :O) *** I came on this morning to keep a running commentary on how this feels. I believe I am progressing, but I am...I seem to be coming passionately alive to my own point of view. There is roaring explosive angry; there is an almost delirious intensity of drinking in and absorbing and celebrating emotion, good and bad and sudden and sharp and sometimes, piercingly sweet. Like in the surfing picture Leafy posted for us that day. Like that. Overwhelmed, and the colors and intensity are beautiful and without shadings. There is the need to be very strong, and an answering call of strength, and center and balance in process. And the wind, and the laughter and speed. I believe that surfing imagery has replaced the beautiful whore bathing in the courtyard imagery. It is that intense. I feel it that strongly. I read something yesterday and actually got tears in my eyes [I]and that never happens.[/I] [I]And I let it happen, and I watched it happen.[/I] So I am still here, still present, that part of each of us that is the real self; the watcher Eckhart Tolle describes. But boy, those emotionals, the speed and the Sun in that surfing imagery ~ wow. And the water, so intensely blue and alive. So that is what is in the beginning of the place beneath the scabbed defenses that cover the shame that covers abandonment; that dark place without sound or color. Life. Aliveness. It is overwhelming, in the sense that I recognize my capacity to assess my situation accurately is off. I take offense readily...but there is sense of great good humor, too. Like a kaleidescope, in that way. That intense. That angry. That funny. That kind. That alive. I swear, the humor was a requirement, or I would have blown myself up, I have been so often flashpoint angry. True to form, I am stumbling from lesson to lesson in the real world, with real people and real situations and I find that hilarious too because I am so freaking mad all the time, now. I don't exactly know what to do with any of it. How strange. Boy, I cannot believe how short-tempered I have become. Impatient and short tempered and easily offended and fuming. It's shocking. I am holding determinedly to faith that this is legitimate emotion whether I have words for it or not. And it just all strikes me so intently. I am raw, but only just the tiniest bit open. The waters are still deep and black and impossibly cold, but the Sun from the surfing video strikes shafts of grey into the black water. So cold. So still. *** So, this morning in my looking around for what I needed, I found: "In business, there is such a thing as an invaluable person, but there is no such thing as an indispensable one." Forbes *** Beauty for ashes has been a phrase much on my mind and with it, a sense of entitlement; of a Promise. *** So, I began reading about raising children. In a sense, that is what we each are doing, in reparenting our traumatized children within. [U]Ten Things Healthy Families Tell Their Children[/U] 1) Go ahead; try. It's a big, beautiful world, out there. 2) It's your choice. 3) You are safe, and loved. 4) You make me happy. 5) I trust and believe in you. 6) Have a great day. Don't forget who you are. 7) Mistakes happen. 8) I love you. Okay, so that was eight things. [U]10 Phrases Resilient Families Use Alot [/U] 1) Laugh it off. Come on, laugh it off. [I]Humor elevates feeling tones, increases the sense of internal locus of control, increases feelings of personal empowerment and resilience. [/I]I would add that we need also to remain focused and aware of our work, as was noted earlier in this thread. Leaven with laughter; this is a slippery slope area. Easy, so easy, to slip into ridicule and victimization of others [I]or of ourselves.[/I] 2) Don't let this (event or incident) spoil everything. Make another success, or remember what you [I]are[/I] good at; what you do well. What you will learn. 3) Let's take a break. [I]Sometimes, I sit and think. And sometimes, I just sit.[/I] 4) Who have you spoken to about this? There are supportive people everywhere. We only need to find them. 5) I know it looks bad now, but you will get through this. 6) What can you learn from this? Positive reframing. 7) Don't worry. Relax. 8) This isn't the end of the world. You will probably make friends, just like you always do. 9) You could be right. But have you thought about.... 10) What can we do about this? (About disappointment, about feelings of inadequacy or helplessness.) *** Language: Extreme language leads to extreme emotional responses and black/white thinking. Tone it down to gray. For instance: "I'm angry.", to "This is annoying." "This is a disaster.", to "Talk about a pain in the gluteus maximus." Realistic languaging leads to realistic thinking, which helps us redefine our perceptions. *** Establishing resiliency: (Which is the flexibility versus rigidity dialogue taking place in the research Serenity posted for us.) Feelings of constant failure, of constant rejection, of always narrowly missing being picked for the team. (Which are other words, prettier ones, for ridicule and victimization and abandonment.) Take action. Hold their hands. Hang in there. This will pass. Find some rewarding activity to counter the pain. And finally, something I found especially appropriate, given my recent, unanticipated fixation on Michael Corleone: From Facebook this morning. Michael is smoking a cigar. Leaning back, he says: "There are three things you should know about me. 1) My circle is small. 2) I'm loyal to the end. 3) Never f*** me over. And I mean, that is resonating with me, you guys. And there it was, right on my Facebook. ? So, that was my morning. Cedar [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
Family of Origin
Work and Germany; Benedictines and Buddhists: Attitude
Top