working thru the depression doing what makes me happy

[Jena]

hi to all

so the zoloft thing wow bad news. yet it's lifting a little alredy not alot but enough where i'm not in total dread now. so i made a few calls and got the ball going on a few things i was proud of for doing something and wanted to share it.

i registered for free classes to learn how to work with handicapped children and horses. their free as long as i donate my time to the nearby ranch when the training is complete and it's on weekends. i love horses it's my passion and i love working with special needs kids. except at 3 a.m. like in my house lol.

then i got a hold of a real estate owner, i had taken classes for my license yet difficult child's issues last summer were too severe so i had skip some so depending on how difficult child is doing i have set up the make up classes for 2 weeks from now after my job officially ends. this guy said he'll sponsor me.

i started to write a book again. i wrote one years ago when my oldest was born. it was really good it was all about new parents kinda funny it was. never submitted it becaue listened to my mom back then i was young telling me how unknowns do not get published how stupid was I?? so this one is kinda about alot of stuff transitions, healing, our kids life. what do i know? nothing absolutely nothing but maybe it'll never leave my labtop but it's a start and it's a good way to spend time with me when i get a big five minutes.

so now my next endeavor besides getting grip on difficult child which is always first and foremost older difficult child's grades are going up is trying Occupational Therapist (OT) find a way to actually make money again. i figured that by doing the horse thing i will be inspired motivated then the money ideas will come i pray they will

ok so that's it and yup i'm still eating cheese doodles. rome wasn't created overnight lol

thanks for listening

Jen

 

[Nomad]

I think its great that you are doing things you enjoy. The classes with the horses sounds particularly enjoyable and productive. Please be careful not to do too much at once. I think sometimes it is tempting to experiment with many things simultaneously and this in and of itself can lead to failure. And failure can lead to depression. If you have to put some things on hold, that would be fine. So, you might have to prioritize. Also, don't forget small nurturing things are also good...along with perhaps one or two large endeavors. Be sure to get rid of all those high fat/sweet things in your home and keep lots of healthy things like veggies and fruit around for when temptations come around. It's good to see you in a healthy state of mind. Keep up the good work!!!!

 

[Marguerite]

Something I learnt years ago when studying animal behaviour - stress is always much worse if you feel helpless. Even if what you are doing is not directly reducing what is causing your stress, doing SOMETHING will make the stress effects on you less severe.

So what you are doing is really good.

And your depression is lifting, as you are stepping down your Zoloft dosage. keep telling yourself that the depression isn't you, it's imposed on you externally and will soon be gone.

When I've had depression I've been able to look inside myself to analyse where it's coming from. If I can find a reason for my depression, I continue to dig to try to find a way to reduce that reason. If I can't find a reason or if the depression 'feels' like it has an external source, I instead get physically busy. I go and accomplish something.

If you're getting back into writing, a strong suggestion is that you find a local group of other writers and join their ranks. You need feedback and support from others not only to help you improve your skills, but to also protect you from being ripped off. Writing is a solitary game and therefore writers are prey to a lot of unscrupulous people out there. I could tell you some horror stories - but I won't right now. I did co-write an article which was published a few years ago, on the perils and pitfalls of getting published. When you get closer to publication, get in touch with me.

Marg

 

[amazeofgrace]

woo hoo you go gerl!!!!!

 

[Jena]

thanks guys.

nomad yes you are right i'll watch it. i truly have to find way to make money though we are already feeling hit of me not working like i used to.

marg - thanks i appreciate it. and that's a great idea the writers thing

i totally don't know what else to do so i figured if i inspire myself somehow and horses are my thing the juices will start to flow somewhat.

the difficult child thing has me very sad as well. i'Tourette's Syndrome a constant sadness and depression over how she lives her life and i cna't seem to help her the right way. i'm sure you know all too well yourself.

Jen

 

[Jena]

ok so that was last week this is this week lol

my depression is lifting because i don't have a choice. zoloft's still in me a little weaned down to 12 mg. every other day and haven't taken it now for 2 days straigt bad headaches but that's about it.

i'm trying to start business from home because left office two days ago and we're already feeling the financial difference. so i'm afraid my ah -ha oprah i want to be inspired moment is soo over lol

time to make the money. looking for pt work while difficult child is in school until school ends and trying to teach myself this legal junk i have no clue what i am dong at all by the way. got the first file and i'm sitting there like hmm what does that mean? soo not good. sure i did it for 5 years but not this involved i figure what's the worst that can happen?? lol they don't pay me because i messed up their estate?

such is life

 

[Marguerite]

Jen, although you're saying you feel the home office thing is overwhelming, you do sound happier this week, you certainly sound more in control of your emotions. And you sound like you're getting busy, which is really good.

It won't be much longer and you will be off the Zoloft entirely.

Good luck with the home office thing. One of our Aussie TV shows today was discussing work, and work-related issues. When they were discussing working form home, it was interesting - the people interviewed were saying that despite the best intentions they can't set aside certain hours and say, "Now I'm working," because when you have kids and other distractions you just grab your minutes when you can.

I hope you can find yourself some work that can help make ends meet.

Marg