worried about 16 year old son

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by magi, Nov 28, 2009.

  1. magi

    magi New Member

    Hello,I am so glad I found this site.My son has mild add & tic disorder(becuse of the tics he is not medicated for add). My problem with him is behavior.He has been suspended from school 3 times this year for cursing at teachers, he has no respect for any authority, he has been in trouble with police. He is drinking and smoking weed.He sneaks out at night.he does whatever he feels like no matter what we say. He is out of control. His friends are no better I think worse I know some of them do harder drugs and sometimes deal drugs. and he feels there is nothing wrong with that.
    I am thinking of sending him to a military school, I feel if i don't get him away from his friends here he will soon be in jail.
    Any help or recommendations would be appreciated, my husband and I are so lost and we need help-we don't know where to turn for help
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member


    I had a daughter who did drugs. We also thought it was just weed. Not to scare you, but we often only know the tip of the ice berg with drug use. His behavior is more indicative of harsher drugs than weed. That's probably why he is acting out. Just a guess. I would go to a Narc-Anon group so you can get real time help and listen to others who have been there. That helped hub and I A LOT.

    Military schools don't want our troubled kids. They don't keep them. The best thing you can do is to get him into a residential treatment center. I don't know how well they work, because my daughter never did the gig there, however they certainly keep kids away from their drug using, law breaking friends...and that alone is good. it also keeps them off the streets so they are safer.

    I had no idea about RTCs when my daughter took drugs or she would have been in one. I was desperate to get her away from her horrible friends. Not that she wasn't also horrible and a bad influence, but I knew she wouldn't stop unless she got away from the peers. We finally had to send her to a relative in another state and she did get clean.

    Welcome to the board; sorry you have to be here. Others will come along with their suggestions. I tried very hard to discipline my daughter, but by the time she was sixteen and into drugs and bad crowds, it was impossible. She was incredibly sneaky. Even homeschooling her didn't stop her from sneaking out of the house and roaming the streets at night, even while she was on parole.

    It's hard, I know. (((Hugs)))
  3. magi

    magi New Member

    Thank you very much for your reply. I would have responded sooner but my husband was rushed to the hospital over the weekend,thankfully he came home today.
    I have drug tested my son and so far it's only weed. Would a Residential Treatment Center (RTC) accept him if he is not willing? I thought there might be a military school for troubled children. I know of three of my sons friends who were sent to a wilderness program wih no success. I guess I was just hoping there was somewhere. Unfortunately I do not have family that can take him.
    Don't get me wrong, I love him very much and don't want to send him away, I just feel that things will get much worse if he continues with his peers.
    Thank you