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worried about 22 year old daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 710022" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I have an almost 21 year old daughter who I am very close to and Im sure shed say the same thing, but she is 21. I see her maybe once every two weeks. She lives an hour and a half away with her awesome almost twenty five year old boyfriend, works and goes to school. Soon she will be at the police academy. She does her own clothes etc and has since before high school and is very well adjusted. But she is busy and so am I. We always get together for holidays etc. We text and talk during the week but not every day.</p><p></p><p>Your daughter is a full time working adult, probably tired after work. Adult kids that age ( i have four) are not usually hanging out with Mom. I personally think you should let her do her own chores. Shes not a little kid. You wont make her like you more by doing adult things for an adult. Its up to you but I think personally its best to respect their adulthood.</p><p></p><p>I feel strongly about this. Her weight is her own issue. Again, she isnt a little girl and with anorexia being caused by women believing they must be thin, I think weight should not be discussed with any adult child. She is smart enough for college and i am sure if she wants to lose weight she knows how. She has years to decide to do it. This is not your decision in my opinion. My kids could all lose some weight. That is up to them as adults. This topic never comes up here.</p><p></p><p>Your daughter is not using drugs, is working and is friendly except at home. I think its normal for 22 year olds to no longer be our best friends. Normal and healthy. I am not sure what you are worried about. Many 22 year olds dont live with us anymore. Its not an insult. Its growing up.</p><p></p><p>I cant think of anything Id be worried about if this were my daughter. If she wants to go out, she will. It will probably be with peers. This is nothing against you. And many adults that age dont want us probing into their heads or running their lives. Or nagging. </p><p></p><p>I hope this helped...it is what I experienced with all my kids and also they all moved out by 22. On their own dimes. I am still very close to all of them. You probably are not going to be her BFF at her age, but that doesnt mean you arent close. Close is different as they get older, work full time, date, find a significant other, marry, have kids etc. I actually feel once a daughter has kids, it can bring mothers/daughters closer. It has in my life. </p><p></p><p>Good luck and let her go. We give them roots to grow and wings to fly. And mentally healthy adult kids love to fly!!! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 710022, member: 1550"] I have an almost 21 year old daughter who I am very close to and Im sure shed say the same thing, but she is 21. I see her maybe once every two weeks. She lives an hour and a half away with her awesome almost twenty five year old boyfriend, works and goes to school. Soon she will be at the police academy. She does her own clothes etc and has since before high school and is very well adjusted. But she is busy and so am I. We always get together for holidays etc. We text and talk during the week but not every day. Your daughter is a full time working adult, probably tired after work. Adult kids that age ( i have four) are not usually hanging out with Mom. I personally think you should let her do her own chores. Shes not a little kid. You wont make her like you more by doing adult things for an adult. Its up to you but I think personally its best to respect their adulthood. I feel strongly about this. Her weight is her own issue. Again, she isnt a little girl and with anorexia being caused by women believing they must be thin, I think weight should not be discussed with any adult child. She is smart enough for college and i am sure if she wants to lose weight she knows how. She has years to decide to do it. This is not your decision in my opinion. My kids could all lose some weight. That is up to them as adults. This topic never comes up here. Your daughter is not using drugs, is working and is friendly except at home. I think its normal for 22 year olds to no longer be our best friends. Normal and healthy. I am not sure what you are worried about. Many 22 year olds dont live with us anymore. Its not an insult. Its growing up. I cant think of anything Id be worried about if this were my daughter. If she wants to go out, she will. It will probably be with peers. This is nothing against you. And many adults that age dont want us probing into their heads or running their lives. Or nagging. I hope this helped...it is what I experienced with all my kids and also they all moved out by 22. On their own dimes. I am still very close to all of them. You probably are not going to be her BFF at her age, but that doesnt mean you arent close. Close is different as they get older, work full time, date, find a significant other, marry, have kids etc. I actually feel once a daughter has kids, it can bring mothers/daughters closer. It has in my life. Good luck and let her go. We give them roots to grow and wings to fly. And mentally healthy adult kids love to fly!!! :) [/QUOTE]
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